THIS is the horse I know I have!!

I have held off on saying this because I didnt want to feel like I was whining or complaining about the recent move, because I really am happy with where we are now. But I just kept feeling like it might have been poor timing. You see, right before we left the old barn (and I mean right, like a week before leaving) I felt like I was getting a breakthrough with Milo, especially at the lope. I could ride him all day one handed, maneuvering through traffic in that busy arena, feeling like I had a lot of control with just my body, and for goodness sakes, my horse's lope had slowed down and he consistently kept his head level and his back up.

As soon as we moved, all that seemed to be lost. For the last two months since being at the new place, Ive been having a whole lot more frustrating rides than notable fun or "good" ones. I kept saying to Sarah how the small arena was the culprit and Milo "just doesnt have the room". I was getting pretty frustrated with the situation, and was feeling that the horse I knew I was getting to disappeared. I was needing to ride with so much more hand, more leg, and still we were no where near where we had finished off at at the old place.

I tried regulating my breathing, hearing all the words that Sarah had suggested for me to get into my body. I was ditching spurs, saddle, and lifter bit to try and reconnect with my horse in the way I knew we could. I was looking back on videos from this summer's horse shows, and wishing beyond anything I could just get back to that place we were at. Why were we going backwards??

Sarah said that the universe creates what we need. Sounds foo-foo, I know, but it really is true. There is a reason why the best situation for Milo and I resulted in a smaller arena. Sarah was convinced that this would make me gain the shoulder control she keeps talking to me about. There would be no ignoring it like I easily could in a larger arena. She further said that if I could ride in a small arena, and master all the difficulties that it presents, I could ride in any arena. It's true; smaller is more difficult with less straight long lines, and more fast approaching corners. Its easy to get dumped onto the forehand and freight train around the arena in laps. But this arena, if I was ever going to get further with Milo and I, would make me gain control over the shoulder, and hopefully help me get back in my body.

The last few rides have been real breakthrough for me. I cant state which one in particular was the "turning point", but in roughly the last five rides things have been coming around, slowly but surely, just as Sarah said they would; "it's coming". I knew I had been using too much hand and not using enough of my body. I knew I could direct my horse with my body alone, heck I had been doing that already (but I didnt know how much I really could until of late), so I decided to ditch my reins (for the most part) and hold onto the tails. I obviously held enough that Milo wouldnt be tripping on the reins or anything, but I really wanted to make sure that I didnt touch on his face unless absolutely necessary.

Do you remember my post a few weeks back about just loping? I started scratching the surface in that ride. I began letting myself go and just ride the lope. In turn, Milo started just letting himself go and not worry over the upcoming corners, or a possible snatch on the reins from me followed by a tense body. I felt horrible where at usual places that I might have picked up on the reins, Milo lifted his head away and hollowed out his body in anticipation of tense pressure from me. It took a few times, but eventually Milo started to trust that I wasnt going to do that.

I hadnt learned all there was to learn yet in just that ride. In rides to follow I began to understand more about just how much my body position effects my horse. I started to learn how to use my seatbones effectively, and when needed by the movement of my horse. Sarah had always told me that our bodies are always changing in the saddle to accommodate the horse. I always just wanted a clear "roadmap", if you will, of when and where to use my body. I always wanted to be told the precise moment so I could autopilot it and do whatever it was. I wasnt really listening to Sarah saying that we change when the horse needs it because that would require understanding how my body effects his. And moreover, feeling when I need to help him out. I didnt want to do it, because...I didnt know how I could help. I couldnt feel those subtle changes. I'm starting to now.

For instance, I have said time and time again that Milo's shoulder drifts out to the left and how it is caused by my heavier right seatbone. I've known this, and yet, I could never seem to balance out with my left seatbone without all my weight going onto the left. While it is true that when asking for a turn say to the right, I sit a little heavier on the right seatbone with my hips turned in the direction and my body showing Milo which way to go. So I got the turning part down, but straight wasnt working. For whatever reason, I had not been translating that I could (and should) put some weight on the left seat bone when tracking along the long side to the right. That would tell Milo to turn to the left, right? Wrong; if I'm sitting too heavy on my right seatbone causing Milo to move away (to the left), then I just need to have enough in my left bone to balance it out. That point I was not able to feel. I could think about the logistics behind it all day long, but I could yet get my body to do it.

Finally, I am getting to where I can feel when my horse needs me to balance him out, and make the small adjustment when needed. It's been incredible!

Furthermore, I've been saying how he dives his shoulder down into the corner. A somewhat local cowhorse trainer has been posting short training tips onto her Facebook profile. One video addressed the common "shoulder diving". She explained that the shoulder dive is not coming from the shoulder, but a lack of drive from the rear. No duh! I KNEW this, Sarah had told me this a hundred times (well, maybe not that many times). We had a whole lesson on this where I should sit heavier on the inside seat bone to "hold the hock/leg down" and this is where I could half halt with the outside rein at the opportune time to further reinforce his weight staying over his hind. I had been working on this (scratch that, forcing this) having long conversations (yelling matches) with Milo where we hadnt been getting anywhere with it. Looking back, I know I wasnt using my body to tell Milo how to use his; I was using heavy aids and a rigid body trying to force him to do what I could not feel. Embarrassing.

Finally, it seems, I have figured out how to ask him to hold the hock down with just my body and only very, very subtle half halts - one handed I should add, on a loose rein! I have also figured out the lope departure, through body position only and a light smooch. My enlightenment on the nuchal flip I think has helped too, but I've discovered that that flip too can be found through my body alone - amazing! I'm not going to lie, our rides have been fun. Just yesterday we were working one handed, and I felt so incredibly in tune with him. I could adjust his body back to straight when needed with just body position from me, and I could lope straight and lifted on straight lines and circles. And never once was there a moment (even initially) when he was strung out or racing. He stepped right into a true lope right from the get go! My ride was so fun yesterday, we even worked down the fence as if there were a cow, and wouldnt you know, it was like my horse knew there was a cow there or something. He stopped and turned and loped off (or trotted) time and time again without missing a beat. It was so incredibly fun! I couldnt help but pat and praise Milo, all the way back to the barn, and he got kisses, hugs, and more cookies. I love this horse I knew I had - I love this connection I didnt know I could get, if I just tuned into my body.

Giving Credit Where Credit Is Due

I trudged out into the brisk cold morning, and headed to the barn to feed Milo. To my surprise and pleasure, I found he was already fed by Melissa. I went onto alert and asked her how he acted towards her. The night before he had been perfectly pleasant when I fed him his hay and grain, but I wasnt sure yet how he might respond to someone else. Melissa actually responded saying she hadnt even thought about his aggressive history until just now when I asked her about it. She said he was perfectly fine and waited at the feeder without a pinned ear or curled nose. I was very happy to hear that good news.

I cleaned his stall, ate breakfast, and checked in at the show office. The reining patterns werent yet posted, but I knew my first class was the same pattern as the last show, pattern 12, and Melissa had described the Novice pattern briefly the day before, being pattern 7. I got dressed and then looked at the now posted patterns. Pattern 7 made me a little nervous as it is a run in pattern and a bit complicated, plus I knew I would be trying for lead changes in this pattern. But I tried not to let myself get worked up.

My horse, however, had runny manure, was calling to just about every horse that was now coming into the fairgrounds, and generally was quite stressed. Sarah had some wet clay so he got a half syringe of that. After about a half hour, I realized my horse was quiet. Phew, I thought, maybe he was calming down. But wet poo and more calling came back. I tried not to think about it.

Time to tack up and warm up, and my horse was mouthy and dancing in the cross ties. Boyfriend and a couple we are friends with had made it up to the fairgrounds, and he was acting ornery and rude to them. Again, I just tried not to think about it. I climbed aboard and headed to the warm up pen. No calling, but he still felt quick, and some more wet manure slipped out from his rear. I tried not to think about it. But today Milo was much more fluid in his hocks and could step his hip out and nose in easily. He snake trailed pretty easily too, but I wanted to not go into the lope too quickly. I kept schooling and suppling at the walk and trot, then finally moved into a lope after a few more people left the small arena. He felt good, after I realized that tension in my ankles was causing him to run away from my leg. Once discovering this, I took a deep breath and stayed strong in my core, letting my legs go and not picking up my hand. It took a few strides, and then Milo came up underneath me and loped nicely.

I commented to Sarah about this realization, and she was happy to hear I was in a better mind set than at my ride the night before. She also helped me re-wrap his polos with a better method than I had been using. The big arena was now open for schooling, and we had about a half hour before reining was supposed to begin. I made my way into the show pen and schooled again at the walk and trot, hip out, snake exercises. The pen was busy with not only reiners but pleasure riders too, and Milo seemed somewhat distracted by the heavier traffic. There were also volunteers outside of the arena spraying hoses into it to try and keep the dust down. Fortunately, Milo didnt give much mind to the water cascading in on the rails, and didnt pay much attention to the traffic either.

We went into the lope, and he still felt a little rushed. I tried to remember to stay strong in my core and relax my ankles. When I would, the lope was great, but it wasnt consistent. However, we did school some nice stops, rollbacks, and some excellent spins. I was feeling more prepared, but still lacking confidence. They called the order of go for the first class, the Dave Reaume Memorial Green Reiner. This was pattern 12. I remembered the pattern after looking it over once more, and we headed into the arena.

Although this class allows for two hands, I went in one-handed not feeling like I needed both hands. The pattern didnt call for a lead change either, so I felt more relaxed already. We stepped into our first lope circles to the left. I was surprised by the clean lope departure, and we found a rhythm in the first two circles. We stopped pretty clean in the center. Our first two spins felt fairly good, but I knew I held some tension in my body. We raced into the right lope departure, which wasnt clean, and I had to work a few strides to get Milo back to me. He did, and we loped a couple of nice circles to the right. Although the circles were good, they didnt feel as wonderful as those we had in this same class back in July. I tried not to think about it and we stopped in the center for the next set of spins. Again, I held some tension and after the two spins were over, I was a bit disappointed knowing our spins were much better at home and schooling than we delivered in the pen. Oh well, they were now over, and we loped off for our rollback. We came around the top of the arena and I tried not to over think the stop that was coming. My horse stayed straight and I relaxed my ankles a bit. I even remembered to say Woah as I softened my lower back. For the first time in the show pen, I felt our stop was good. We rolled back up the arena and I was happy with that maneuver as well.  I tried not to think about stopping in front of the judges, but as we came down the wall in front of them, I thought too much about the stop coming up, and I lost Milo a bit only a few strides before the cone. The stop wasnt bad, but it wasnt as good as the rollback. We backed and we were done. I turned Milo and he tried to trot off, still feeling fresh, huh?

They moved the classes around a bit, and instead of my novice class to follow, they ran Open Reining next, then Novice. So now I at least had a class in between to look at the next pattern and give Milo a break in the shade. I knew the pattern now, and waited with a somewhat twisted stomach for the open reiners to finish. I watched their runs and heard scores like 78 and 75. I felt a little discouraged by that, but tried not to focus on it. It was time to get back on now, and as I walked Milo a bit, he felt fresh still and raring to go. I opted to enter the ring two handed. I am happy that I did.

The pattern called for a run in (although where the arena gate is held, you really cant), with a left rollback, followed by a right rollback, than a stop and back. Four spins to the right, four and a quarter to the left, begin with three right circles, lead change, three left circles, lead change, one final run down, no back. I knew the pattern. I just needed to do it now.

Just before the judges nodded, I remembered to push my hat down, but I didnt gather my reins. I pushed Milo into a left lead and he felt straight and good. We stopped and rolled back, with some cheers from the crowd. It felt good. I didnt ask correctly for the next lead and Milo cross fired. I tried to get a lead change, but didnt really ask, and for some reason I was obsessing about how he was on the wrong lead. In hindsight, I should have focused on a good run down before the next rollback, but I changed his leads with a simple change, and ended up getting a terrible stop. Rolled back for the next run down, and gathered my reins a bit. The stop wasnt too bad, and we backed, but I didnt line him up to center properly. I had been thinking too much about how disappointed I was in our lines.

Four spins to the right, and instead of sitting deep on my inside seat bone, I hammered him around with too much leg. I was again disappointed in our spins. The left spins didnt make me feel any better, especially when we finished them and I saw I was way off center from the judges. Oh well, and we loped off into the right lead. Two large fast, and I pushed Milo for a little more speed. As we came into the small slow, I felt the downward transition was good, although looking on tape now it doesnt look like much. I got halfway around the small slow before I realized I had a lead change in only a matter of a few strides. We came to center, and I asked for straight, then a change. He changed, although front to back. I whispered good boy, happy for the effort anyways and we loped two fast. After the change it took a circle at least to get him to somewhat lift up and lope properly, and the slow circle transition didnt feel as good. I thought about the approaching lead change throughout the three circles, and ended up not getting it. I broke him down and got a simple change. We were almost done. I loped him up the back side for our last run down, and was too afraid to push on the gas. I felt my horse had been flipping me off during the ride and I didnt want to lose all control. We stopped hard and he tried to go into a back. I kicked him out of it.

We left the arena with people telling us what a good job we did and how nice we looked. I heard a score of 62.5 and felt defeated and frustrated. I told everyone how upset I was with my horse, and remembered the bad ride from the night before.

Thinking back now, I really wasnt upset with my horse. I was frustrated with myself. I let a bad ride from the night before haunt my performance the rest of the day. I wanted Milo to perform when I wasnt in the moment with him, and instead got mad at him for it. Instead of thinking about all the bad things I felt we did in the show pen, I should be emphasizing the good parts of it instead:

We scored just as well in the Dave Reaume class as we had at the last show: a 68.5 from both judges. This placed us second under both judges out of four entries.

We accomplished the best rollbacks and stops in the show pen to date. I didnt over think our rundowns (not every one at least) and got stops I knew we had. My horse is reaching up under himself with his hind end much better. As Sarah says, he no longer looks like two guys in a horse suit - he looks like the makings of a reiner.

Looking at the videos, he is much more over his hocks in his spins. Although not well cadenced like we have schooled, he is picking up speed and holding a plant foot better (at least in the show pen, much better at home).

We got one lead change. Although it wasnt a correct one, we got one. This is a first in the show pen too. The secret behind it seemed to be that I was in my body for that moment, and not in my head. I let it happen, and although it wasnt super pretty, now we have a building block to start on in the show pen. Edit to add: I have watched the video over and over, and looking where we lost the second change, it looks like Milo actually changed in the back but before he could change in the front, I blocked him and slowed him down. I wonder, had I just been patient would he have balanced himself and changed? I really must give him more credit than I had been - he really was working for me, everything was just a little more rushed than I expected. 

We accomplished a harder reining pattern than we ever had before. The Novice pattern certainly wasnt novice friendly, but we stayed on course and actually didnt do as bad as I had given us credit for. Come to think of it, just being on pattern for both classes was another accomplishment. :)

Our scores for the Novice class were actually 62.5 and 65 from the second. This gave us second and third out of three. Although one judge threw away his score cards before I got to see them, I did get to see the scores from the 65 judge.

I really should not have been as down as I was after those classes. Milo really did give me an effort, even if it wasnt what I was anticipating for that day.

P.S. What do you think of my "chinks" outfit? I got a lot of compliments on it! And it sure saved me from being hot under my heavier black equitation chaps (and black hat that would have followed!).

Slap that Diaper on me!

A few rasps and clips from the farrier's knowledgeable hands, and Milo had newly balanced pretty footsies - just in time for the horse show on Saturday. I wanted to have every manageable balance provided for Milo for optimum success. I tacked up the eager pony and we headed into the arena.

Not before I almost forgot to tape the diaper onto my rear. The joke, by the way, comes from Sarah reminding me after my lesson on Saturday, to "remove my diaper" after dismounting. I think the term has just stuck now because, well, its a felt shim  attached to my rear and it feels like a diaper when I walk with it on.

Huggie in place, I mounted Milo. We warmed up one handed at the walk and trot, working on the snake exercise allowing Milo to osculate at the poll and follow his nose, coming up over his back and relaxed from side to side. He was honest to both sides as well and not stiff to the left as he had been before. Two and three track work as well, and Milo and I were feeling synced together and things felt terrific.

I put Milo into the lope, working on our one-handed walk to lope departure - which was good. We loped along on an even but light contact on the rein, and my outside leg back behind at the rear girth, a practice I am trying to make a habit to help Milo understand the lead change cue more clearly. This also helps me keep my seat bones level as well.

Throughout the week I have further experimented on the new shift of weight to the inside seat bone through turnarounds, by using my weight on the inside for a typical turn as well. Wouldnt you know, turning, circling, and spins have all come much easier (as well as serpentines and the snake exercise) with this new way of weighting my seat bones. I dont feel like I am leaning at all to the inside, just slightly shifting my weight to the inside, to center, and to the outside where needed. It really has been fun to experiment with. I have been using the weight shift as a single cue as well (not holding in the same position throughout a circle), to not allow myself to "lock" into a position, but I felt it would also keep Milo more sensitive to my subtle seat change needed for lead changes.

We loped along on a steady and nice circle, and I learned the benefit of riding every stride.

As we came to the center of the arena on a circle to the right, Milo anticipated a lead change (I believe) and tried to duck out the other direction, and also started tail flinging and getting hollow. This happened because for that moment, I wasnt riding. I had pretty much taken a back seat and was just enjoying the ride. But this told me two things: one, I had to pay attention to the weight in my seat bones, the positioning of my legs, and staying strong in my core; two, it was a reminder to not work on lead changes in the center of the arena.

I corrected Milo and loped a few more circles, then decided on a whim, to lope him along the diagonal and attempt a lead change. I chose the diagonal because it offered the most space to attempt the change (as I had done at my last lesson as well), and also because we wouldnt be schooling in the center of two circles. I brought my legs to center, for a moment my horse straightened, and then I moved my new outside leg back and slightly shifted my weight. My horse cleaning changed leads, so well in fact, I had to look down at the new leading leg to confirm we had changed leads. It felt so effortless from Milo with no fuss or anticipation and from very subtle cues. I was floored. I praised Milo, but kept loping.

I loped a circle or two on the new lead, and had a crazy thought; why not try a lead change the new direction now - without working on a counter canter before? It seemed somewhat ludicrous, and that I would be pushing my luck after such a nice change. But the horse show would require this, lets see what we've got.

So I rounded the corner and came across the diagonal again, changed my legs, followed by seat and leg again, and voila! Milo changed right over to the other lead. How was it this easy? I was one handed to boot! Then it hit me: one handed or not, a lead change is through the body - the seat and the leg. I really dont need to be hauling on the outside rein, just lifting for a support if needed (which was not these first two changes). I was ecstatic. But could we keep going with this? Would I get three, and maybe even, four clean changes, consecutively? I thought I was pushing my luck too far, but the thrill of those clean changes just tantalized me.

I loped a few more circles, and came across the diagonal again - clean change. Third in a row.  It felt a little rushed and hollow, however, and I should have known to school a little more before trying the next change. The tape from my diaper had failed, and the shim slipped out from under my rear. I knew I should have used a fourth piece of masking tape. But we continued on, and the fourth change resulted in a buck and a dive thrown in. Oh boy, no way Milo can you do that. I schooled him a little more, and Milo started rushing on the diagonal. Remembering Melissa and Grace's extra lead changes, and the suggestion Sarah gave to them, I decided to work a little on the counter canter. To get Milo kicking the hip out again and not anticipating the change. I started wondering if my hip angle was out of wack again now without my trusty diaper (shim), but I was determined to get a change regardless of the support.

Back across the diagonal, and again he threw a buck into the change. Down to simple one step changes I decided to try, and after three or four of those, we got another absolutely beautiful change. I stopped Milo right then and jumped off, giving him a huge and happy pat on the neck, and kisses on his beautiful white face. I couldnt believe how well he had performed. I walked out of the arena with a huge smile across my face. It's coming I remembered the many texts received from Sarah reading. The effort is paying off. Good horse show or bad horse show this weekend, we just achieved the impossible, my Milo and I.

Finding the Ta-Da for Today

After my lesson on Wesley, I really wasnt entirely sure how I would approach my ride to follow on Milo. All I knew was that I would work in the outdoor arena and allow myself plenty of space and not get concerned about an impeding turn or end of a line. I was fortunate that this particular week there was no summer lesson camp at the barn, as they use the outdoor arena for the majority of the day. I was also fortunate in that the arena had just been dragged and all poles, cones, and barrels were moved out of the way. Only one person had made tracks in the fresh dirt before me, and they had mostly worked on the rail. As you may know, I hardly work on the rail.

I worked Milo on the ground before the ride. Mostly because I thought he might be a little excited to ride in the outdoor as we had not worked down there for well over a month and a half. But I also felt that I needed to find some connection with my horse before I rode. I have found that if I have any sort of doubt about the proceeding ride, a good session of ground work helps build both of our confidence.

Milo was not excited, but was distracted, and needed a lot of coming the line to help him find connection on the line. We spent a good amount of time just working on the ground, but soon I got on. I walked him around a lap or so one-handed, and tried to find engagement and lift through my seat and leg with only minimal hand as needed. We moved into the jog and it wasnt long until my horse found a great rhythm. He easily moved laterally off my leg, loading the outside hock and filling the outside rein. I reminded myself to give him more head as Sarah had suggested on Wesley, allowing Milo to carry himself and make a mistake as needed. I found it only took a few corrections and soon I didnt need to touch his face again, I could rebalance him with my seat and leg. He felt great so I put him into the lope.

We loped first to the right. Typically, Milo has a hard time with dropping his shoulder or tipping his hip out on this lead. Again, only a few corrections were needed, and my horse loped around with cadence and balance. I was particularly pleased because he not only had his own head, but I felt a true rhythm in our pace together. I didnt have to worry about if I was pumping with my seat, but I knew my core was engaged. I really was having a great time loping him around. I couldnt believe this was my horse. To produce this lope and on top of it, in the outdoor arena with has deep spots, dips, and is usually very difficult for many horses to find balance in. And yet my horse felt spectacular.

I decided to challenge myself and I found straight through the center of a figure eight, then sent him into the counter canter, still one handed. I did have to assist here and there, but my horse still stayed well balanced, even wanting me to change the lead for him. I wanted to fatigue him some more though, and I went back and forth from one circle here on the correct lead, to a few more there on the counter circle, always making sure we were nice and straight between the two. I didnt want to change him on the circle so I sent him on the center line and prepared to use my leg to push him onto his outside hock. Milo anticipated me and broke to the trot. I set him back up again and found a good lope, and tried again. No lead change. I realized I was leaning forward and not really pushing him over before changing my seat. So I set him up again. I needed more support from the reins this time, to help support him. I went two handed and tried once again. This time, we changed, back to front. It took about two strides after the cue for him to change, but it was correct and we did it. He got lots of praise, and I texted Sarah with the happy news.

Milo needed a breather as we had been loping for a while that direction, and it was quite warm out (well, for us Washingtonians living under a rain cloud). After some time though, I put Milo into a trot and got him mentally ready to start working again. I had him pick up the lope from the walk, however, and I could tell from the get-go that my horse was quite tired. We were back to that "scrambling" lope and with me tired too, I was pumping with my seat. I really focused on myself and tried to hold my core. After getting some stabilization, I then lifted my seat and held with the rein as I had needed to do on Wesley to get Milo to lift up and drive from the hind. It took a few circles, but we finally got a balanced lope this direction, although it still did not feel as fantastic as our lope earlier. I maintained my one-handed riding and again reminded myself to give Milo more rein and balance myself. If Milo needed to hold himself up, I needed to as well. After I let off of his face and found my seat again, Milo dropped his head and lifted his back, loping a nice circle. I sent him straight, then to the counter canter where he immediately broke to a trot. Milo was tired, but he couldnt do that. So again I set him up and we got a counter canter circle, then back to the correct circle.

We played this dance a few times; I didnt want to ask for a lead change before I knew we were actually ready for it. But I asked too soon. Anticipating and tense, Milo kicked out on my first time asking. Too much leg, I thought to myself, and set him up again. Tipped forward that time. Try again. Didnt follow through with the rein when he needed the support. Set up for it again, find a balanced counter canter again. Finally, it all came together, and while it was painstaking and again not perfect, it was correct from back to front and we did it. I gave him praises again and spent a long time cooling out my puffing horse.

What did I discover the most that day? The ta-day for today, as Sarah put it. The lead changed might not have been beautiful and they came through difficulty, but we got them. Ta-da. What I want to focus on more was the beautiful ride we did have before I began working on the lead changes. I think that was the real ta-da for today. I let my horse have his head, I let him hold himself up and I truly had a fun and rewarding ride loping my horse easily around, finding straight, and remaining balanced. Ta-da!

Some Reminders from Wesley and Sarah

Because of the canceled lesson on Saturday, today I was to take a lesson on Wesley instead. Which both Sarah and I thought would be a good situation anyways because I really needed (need) more help on allowing my body to make the lead change. As I tacked him up, reaching for the familiar snaffle bit I had been riding him in previously, Sarah instead had be put in a correctional curb bit and commented that we would be working one-handed. And so the fun shall begin.

I crawled aboard the tall and handsome Wesley and warmed him up walking him and torso twisting. Something felt a bit different in my body, but I couldnt pin point what. True to her intuitive self and sharp eye, it didnt take long until we were trotting and Sarah told me to find that tension in my body and release it. She commented "it could be your lower back..." and as soon as she said that, I knew thats where the tension was, and suddenly a light bulb went off as I remembered back to my previous rides recently on Milo. I had been holding tension in my lower back when riding one handed. Could this be how I have learned to ride one-handed, when I was on the drill team and balanced off of my hands?

It didnt take long as we worked in the lesson and Sarah commented more than once that I was balancing off of the reins and I had to find my seat and my legs. She reminded be that there doesnt need to be contact in a shank bit, and instead of relying on a half halt for instance, we need to find it in our bodies and ride more through leg and seat. She told me for a second time that I am "always riding and in complete control", I need to "let the horse make the mistake and then correct it or else they will never learn.". I even have that on recording from two lessons ago, but I really could feel what she was saying in my one handed riding. Sarah had us work at the lope the majority of the lesson, and of course, the lead changes.

Things just didnt feel like they were going so well in many ways. I couldnt seem to find it in my body to lift Wesley's back and engage his hind, and wanted to hang off of the bridle. If I wasnt hanging, then I was releasing too soon. As we worked down the center line and Sarah repeatedly told me with each pass to find straight, not let Wesley drop his shoulder out, dont let him fishtail, lift him into the bridle before nit-picking. And our lead changes werent that great. I was feeling a real lack of confidence wondering to myself how if I couldnt get a good lead change on this lead changing machine, how on earth could I do this on my own horse? I was starting to feel defeated and then Sarah made it much more clear.

Although she had been telling me to find the new bend with my body and then ask for the change, I just wasnt getting it. Then she finally told me to use my leg to do so. As we loped on the left lead down the center line to prepare for a change, I was to move him laterally just slightly from my right leg to get the bend, then change my hips for the change, opening up my new inside leg, shapping my legs' positions. Finally, the change felt clean and right. I rode him around a little longer and thought about how it happened. Straight, balanced, leg before seat. All in conjuction however. I discovered the difference wasnt just my realization of more leg and less hand, but that I just did it. I didnt over think every individual cue, I just let it happen. Sarah talked to me about what I was understanding but I just couldnt seem to make words of it. I just had to think about what happened.

Although I felt some defeat and lowered self esteem, Sarah encouraged me that things are coming along. Poor Sarah can't make me find it in my body, but she can help support me to discover it on my own. So how would this relate to Milo?

A Blue Ribbon Ride

Saturday morning I was disappointed to wake up and hear the rain. I was scheduled for late in the afternoon for work and had planned on another lesson with Sarah that morning. I gave her a call to see what the weather was like at her house, about 30 miles away. Unfortunately, the weather was as bleak as it was outside my window, and the forecast for the rest of the day continued to call for rain. While a tough Washington cowgirl might have stuck it out and rode in the pouring rain, I decided against it knowing that I not only wanted to subject my saddle to a downpour, but I also knew my horse wouldnt be happy. He hides in his shelter at the first sign of a sprinkle, and it just would not be fair to expect him to work well in weather conditions he despises.

So we decided to make my next lesson this coming Monday on Wesley, and hopefully squeeze in another one the night before the show a week from now. I knew I wanted to ride my horse anyway, and hoped that the indoor arena at the barn would be relatively empty. I was disappointed by the changed outcome of the day, but ended up having a great ride.

Not only did I have exclusive access to the arena (the facility was nearly dead the entire time I was there, which wasnt all that early in the day). I turned up the radio and mounted up. Knowing that in my last few rides I wasnt allowing my body to really work with Milo and not fight against him, I tried to approach the first few minutes in the saddle with optimism and a greater focus on lightening my seat.

At the last lesson I questioned to Sarah why my saddle was producing dry spots just behind the withers. I had been frustrated that the saddle I spent so much money on was now producing these indicators of a poor fit. But moreso, I knew that the saddle originally was producing perfectly even lines, so the change could only be that I wasnt riding Milo and working him as I should be. In fact, the later held to be true this past week, but also Sarah found Milo's ribs and hips to be out again. After an adjustment, we found much nicer sweat patterns after the lesson. But what about this last week? What was I doing wrong?

As I warmed him up those first few laps I considered what the sweat patterns were showing. They indicated my horse wasnt lifting up into the tack from the wither and just behind it. Truly indicating that he wasnt properly elevating his back. I had also noted that the dry spots were larger on the right side than the left, further telling me that my horse was not working both sides evenly.

How could I fix this? While throughout the week I had been trying to focus on my lighter seat, I had noticed my horse wasnt as responsive to my slightly raised seatbones but rather responded more off of my spur. So as I walked him around (and soon jogged) I emphasized a lighter seat before a spur aid. Soon, I could feel the dramatic lift in my horse's back from just lightening my seat bones. I moved this into the jog and soon the lope.

Next I addressed the dry spot on the right side. This indicated that he was dropping his shoulder away and not lifting that side as well as the left. So as I worked him (all my warm up and about half of my riding has consisted of one rein only) I bumped lightly on the right rein and torso twisted as needed to encourage a greater lift in the right side.

I gotta say, our lope work (trot too, but we worked longer at the lope) was exceptional. And this was all one handed with only slight adjustments. Our departures were solid and with a soft jaw, and my horse stayed up underneath me mostly from the aid of my light seat bones. We loped the rail, circles, one center circle, and my horse stayed consistent and round. I have to add, how tickled I have been to find my horse is capable of feeling so "broke". We might not have a slow lope for a western pleasure class (not a goal I have anyways), but I now feel like my horse is touching on the capabilities that he possesses. It is truly something to feel to connected to him and so light in the aids, but have the work so exceptional and correct. Its almost a shame that no one was there to witness it, but I know the ride I had.

Milo got a break from the lope work on the right lead, and he got a lot of praise. He licked and chewed contently, reminding me how responsive he is to positive feedback, something I need to make sure I do much more often. After a breather, we loped off on the left lead, and while a bit more tired, he still worked very very well. There was a minor spook when a boarder took her horse past the back entrance of the arena, but after only a few moments my horse was back with me. I gave him another break, then worked only a few passes on rollbacks, something I had been touching on earlier in the week at the walk and trot. He did very well on the rollbacks too, receiving all A's as he loped right off after the stop, staying soft and round in the bridle. I made sure that I indicated the lead first from my hip and Milo picked them up easily. So I decided to take it to simple lead changes.

As I had spoke with Sarah on the phone that morning, she asked how the simple changes were since I was having such difficulty finding the flying changes in my body. I admitted that in the last week Milo was getting rushy, anticipatory, and very tense in the center expecting a change. She recommended doing one or two step simple changes on the rail, emphasizing straight, soft, and from my seat. I agreed it would be a good way to work on them where Milo was comfortable and unsuspecting of them.

After the short rollback session, I moved right into the simple changes. At first he was slightly tense, then I allowed my seat to soften and found I was tipping forward. I found my center again and we performed some very fluid one or two step changes on the rail, mostly from just my seat. After some consistent and beautiful changes, I had to stop myself from over doing it, but I was having so much fun! I slowed Milo to a walk and gave him more and more praises - he was being so good.

I threw in some spins at the end (which is a whole 'nother accomplishment - my horse is so much fun to spin on!) and after a cool-down I dismounted and hugged my horse, so proud of what we had accomplished that day. I texted Sarah in enthusiasm so pleased with the ride I had. She replied that things happen for a reason, and that I needed to have that ride on Milo that day. I felt that although I didnt get my lesson physically with Sarah, the excitement and joy I usually have after one was there after my quiet ride alone. I was elated. I even texted her saying I felt I was so ready for the show. Although no matter what happens, I know that I had a blue ribbon ride today. I am so proud of the progress my horse has accomplished.

We take to the Lope One-Handed

It seems things always seem to work out, even when Sarah springs it upon catching me entirely unawares. This time, it was taking our riding to one hand. Sounds like a commonality, but I honestly dont think I have ever ridden a well broke horse one handed at the lope (except for Wesley...once). While I had ridden Milo one handed during the drill team, it was NO WHERE near how we are riding today, and I certainly wasnt asking for any self carriage or correct movement.

The lope work, in my opinion, was fantastic. When we went into it I honestly thought it would be a trainwreck, but Milo surprised me so well and loped beautifully on a light contact. While, naturally, we will need to just build on it and school where needed, I was blown away. He stayed relatively balanced and driven, I was totally smitten. Looking at the video now I will definitely need to figure something out better for my right hand instead of the awkward flailing and whatnot, but minor details!

Sarah had be begin working on our slow to fast in the lope, by reaching my hand forward and encouraging him to extend. There wasnt a whole lot of a speed increase, but she reminded me that I can lean forward and take some weight off of his back as well to further encourage the speed increase. Again, something to work on and take some time developing. We dont want him rocketing into the speed increase, so slow and steady will win the race here ironically.

We gave Milo a break and did a little spin work, which is coming along. We have ground contact! Continuing to build strength will be paramount, but with a firm planted foot now, we can incorporate some speed into the mix.

Next we needed to move into our lead changes. The last few weeks of building the counter canter were necessary to assisting in some clean changes. Well, in theory.

Come to find out, there is still an issue with me. Not so much one such as a weighted hip, a needed torso twist, or sitting back. But I need to allow my body to make the change. Yes, one of those abstract things that you cant point your finger directly onto. There were many an attempt where I either held onto the left rein instead of half-halting with it, didnt bring/bump through with my right rein to keep Milo looking into the desired lead direction, or allow my body to change into the lead. And poor Milo, he really wanted to change, and he even began to get a bit frustrated, but the timing just wasnt there.

Sarah encouraged me, however, as I started to lose confidence in myself wondering why it just wasnt happening, saying I should try the work in the large outdoor arena where Milo is boarded, to allow myself to have plenty of space to relax. She attributed some of the anxiety due to her smaller arena where corners and direction come up so quickly. I was skeptical of it's real impact on my riding and doubted real success in the outdoor arena, however, but she further supported me by suggesting I work on it on a nice long straight-of-way on the trail. I just need to experiment with myself more and find where I am tensing up. More self-reflection, oh joy.

We ended the lesson with a little more on the spin work, and Sarah encouraged me to pick up the speed. Milo stepped it up a notch for a few rotations each direction, she she advised to build on that now. She even questioned if I was sure I didnt want to do Western Pleasure, because "Milo has such a cute outline with perked ears". Although its what Milo is bred for, I'm a little burned out. But she agrees Milo will be a great reiner and possibly even some Western Riding thrown into the mix.

I hope to have a lesson this coming Saturday, as I miraculously have it scheduled off of work (how the heck did that happen??). So I'm hoping I can figure out whats going on in this next week, and get more assistance from Sarah before our first Washington State Horseman approved B-System show in only two weeks. While I dont have the time off confirmed just yet, I'm hoping to be able to attend and try my hand at the Green Reiner class, which not only calls for one handed, but also a lead change. No pressure, however, I am not going to get that competitive drive for this show, I know that I am truly in this journey for itself, and the monetary successes will just come with the package when they are supposed to.