It was a long hard year after I retired Koalt. I continued to ride the bus to Js after school and work off his board, pay for his supplements and farriery. For continuing to want to ride, I started riding the horse who taught me how to ride, Rocky. I also rode Js other horses for some profit, and expanded my riding skills further in riding over a handful of different horses all with needs and quirks of their own.
I always felt that I was betraying Koalt as I would ride the other horses. I would always groom him and tend to him first when I arrived at the barn, but he would told his head over the arena rail and watch me as I rode the other horses. If horses could be jealous, then Koalt certainly was.
I showed Rocky at a few local shows and had fun. I even took Fawnie (who was now purchased by a close friend) to my second year at the county fair. But it was still hard being a young enthusiastic rider, and working to keep a horse I couldnt sit astride on. I loved Koalt, but I knew that eventually I would want another horse of my own to ride. I always pushed these thoughts to the rear of my mind, filing under too painful to deal with, and simply soldiered on working for my retired horse.
Finally, burned out and slipping into a depression in my teenaged hormonal and confused self, I starting bringing those buried thoughts back from the corners of my thoughts. But how could I let go of my best friend? Koalt had taught me how to be a responsible horse owner. How to love unconditionally, how to sacrifice my own wants for the needs of his. He was my closest friend, he helped me get through my parent's painful divorce, the pressures of a teenager's life, and also showed me the simple joys of life. I was who I was because of him. I knew the value of a dollar, the thrill of accomplishment, and how to love because of one simple, stumpy little horse. I cried myself to sleep many nights even just contemplating letting him go.
But I took the plunge, and listed him on dreamhorse as "Free to a Good Home."
Final Chapter
2 comments:
I imagine Koalt was jealous. I know that Dandy is here when he sees me taking other horses to ride. He wants to have his time.
It is so hard to balance one's heart with one's finances. That is something I struggle with all of the time.
Oh my goodness!
I know exactly how you felt.
I won't ever let any of my 5 go I don't think. They are my originals and all my favorites. I just love them all to pieces.
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