A Lesson at Home

I was really eager for my lesson on Tuesday. I hadnt had a lesson with Sarah in months, and this time she was coming out to my place to give me one. There were so many things I wanted to ask her, and have her look at. First, she checked over Milo. He was super vocal about what needed fixing; his first and seconds ribs were out, (which explained the sour ears I had been getting when tacking up) he was out in the girth area, she checked over his hips, decompressed his knees and fetlocks on the front, and checked over his organs. His liver was a little hot, but not horrid, she commented, and recommended a ten day supply of Dynamite Excel right before the next full moon, which we would then worm him with Panacur or SafeChoice, the only two options that Milo agreed with. DynaPro was also suggested, just like last spring, to flush out any toxins in his system. Fortunately, I have DynaPro left, and Sarah gave me a supply of Excel.

Sarah looked over the hay that I had, and didnt like what she saw. I have two bales left over from the Orchard Grass and she liked that much more than the Timothy. She recommended I go back to the Orchard Grass and sell the remaining Timothy bales I have. She has six bales or so of Oregon Orchard Grass I could buy from her, which I would gladly do. Hopefully I can get rid of the half ton timothy I have.

I tacked up and we got to work. I wasnt sure what we were going to work on today and after not seeing her in a long time, I figured a critique on my riding was going to be in order. But she started off by saying that when we work our horses at home, we need 75% from them, that way when we are at a horse show, we can just ask for 25% and not have a big deal. Especially in western events where a draped rein is sought after, the horse needs to respond from our legs alone. Today she wanted to teach Milo and I how to be shaped from just my legs.

By shaping, it can mean anything: directional, speed, but what we were working on was body control and shaping Milo in an arc. Nose in, hip in, was the focus, and Sarah also taught me a new way to cue. There are only so many places to put the leg for a cue, Milo for example wanted to lope off as I was asking for his hip in, which was partially evasion from the exercise being difficult, partially showing that I havent been asking for the lope with my hip placement, and partially because, well, the lope off has been putting my outside leg back. Sarah recommended "painting" his side with my leg. In a sweeping motion I just wave the leg back and forth across the C region, avoiding poking with the spur. This exercise is to build strength and relax, there is no need to get aggressive about it and create resentment in both of us. "Baby Steps," she reminded me a few times. If Milo didnt respond with his hip in with the painting, I was to bring his nose to the outside and move the hip away in a way thats easier because horses want to move their hip away from their nose like a man carrying lumber - turn one way, the rear end goes the other. The exercise of nose in hip out would reinforce my painting cue, then I would bring the nose back in and continue painting for the hip. If I got the hip but lost the shoulder (which is easy to do), I would reinforce the wall of the outside rein by bringing Milo into a spin and reinforcing keeping his shoulder up. We worked this at the trot and when things were coming more together, we moved it into the lope.

Sarah told me to use my corners to my advantage for this exercise. As we came into the corner (if properly) Milo would already be shaped into the arc of the direction we were traveling. Just before making the turn the new direction, I would capture the hip and keep it in the same line of travel on the other side of the corner, so the image that came to mind was the western pleasure horses crab loping along the rail. While this is NOT the ideal we are looking for as far as loping, it was what we wanted (in a sense) for this exercise, although with more shoulder control as well. Think of it like a half pass at the lope, but with less diagonal direction and just forward along the rail. Just like in the trot work, this too would build strength and help with leg control, put more foundation on our spins, and moreover, help build strength in Milo's lope which is getting better but still scrambly (which a lot come from the downward shoulder, which I will get to in a minute).

We worked on this, trying to utilize the corners, and was having a hard time. Milo didnt respond to the painting of my outside leg, and lifted his head to evade the bit as I asked for his nose to come in. We tried it over and over and it wasnt working. Then I lost the outside shoulder so made a big correction of it, which Sarah commented was too aggressive. I went back to the trot, and re-emphasized the exercise at the trot, then went back into the lope and tried again. We got a couple strides of what we were looking for and as I released and relaxed along the last part of the straight-of-way, Sarah commented on what a beautiful lope it was. All this work is going to help get the lope where it needs to be.

As Milo got a breather, we discussed Milo's neck and shoulders. The area just in front of the withers does not have a lot of definition, and he travels like a pleasure horse - his neck ties in low and he comfortably keeps his head low, which unfortunately bring the shoulders down too. We did an exercise to encourage Milo to start lifting at the shoulders and rounding in that area in front of the withers. An easy way for me to see the difference was in the filling in of the area on his neck, but more importantly, I could feel a huge difference when my horse was lifted at the shoulder. Again, Sarah reminded me to not micro-manage and help Milo every step of the way. She told me to listen to the rhythm of his footfalls and to use a backing exercise to slow him back down if he quickened, and to further encourage the shoulders to stay up. 1.......2........1........2 was the footfalls, and she told me to stop holding him up - to let the reins out when he was lifted and test to see how long he could go until I needed to bring him up again, all the while paying attention to the rhythm (which we were at the walk). When at the beginning Milo very commonly wanted to over flex his neck and bring his face behind the vertical, when he was traveling correctly, his poll was the highest and his nose perfectly on the vertical. I was amazed by how hugely different my horse felt underneath me. His shoulders got big and elevated, the arc in his neck made me feel like I was riding a big dressage horse. The careful way in which he placed his front legs as he tried to hold his shoulders up made me grin. "Ten days of this, and you will be surprised on how he looks" Sarah commented, even recommending doing this small work on the trail. 

The Little Mare that Did

"I think you should ride Ellie Mae today," Sarah said after I finished my Pop Tarts and 7Up. Ellie Mae? What about Wesley? That mare had just sorely bugged me earlier as I cleaned her stall and I gave her a glare as I walked past her stall a few more times. I didnt want to ride her!

When I was cleaning the stall she is super pushy about being in the stall while I clean it. I want her out in the paddock and then when I'm cleaning the paddock she can come into the stall. Twice she thought she was sneaky and bolted into the stall, only for me to shoo her back out and her to fly out into the paddock, snorting and upset. Then I thought I could be sneaky and grab a pile right outside of the stall (there is no wall dividing the stall from the paddock) while keeping her outside still. Normally when I clean the paddock I close the stall door so she can go into the stall. While thinking I could get this really close poop pile with her still in the paddock, she did just the opposite and jumped right into the stall. I tried to get back ahead of her so she wouldnt exit and although the wheelbarrow was blocking most of the stall doorway, my coming towards her made her leap out of the small opening and right into the narrow aisleway. Of course she trotted down to the end stalls and horses, and Max reached over the stall door and very stud-like grabbed ahold of her blanket. Two more horses had their heads over the stalls and all were nosing and ready to squeal. I didnt want to walk into that very narrow aisleway for two reasons: 1. all of the horses and the chance of getting between them all and kicked or bitten (or striked if it led to that), and 2. Putting pressure on Ellie Mae might make her jump up the small incline to the opening that held straw, hay, bedding, and tools. If she got up there, she could not only hurt herself on the pallets and objects, but could also sneak under the tent of the shelter and escape onto the property.

I quickly turned down the idea of simply hand guiding her back into her stall. She already didnt want to listen to me and she could very easily get past the wheelbarrow (which was now partially blocking the aisleway) and escape out the aisle. So I blocked the aisle with the wheelbarrow as best I could and retrieved a halter just outside the stalls. Ellie Mae had now turned around and looked to be contemplating jumping up into the hay storage (and possibly escaping), or getting more squealy with the boys now positioned behind her. I quietly brought the halter up to her and for a split second I thought she was going to shy away. But I fitted the halter on her and threw her back into her stall, sending her back out into the paddock and exiling her out there for the last couple of scoops I needed to take.

When all was said and done I walked past Sarah with a heavy wheelbarrow and grumbled a question on if she was known for escaping. Sarah without a doubt said, "oh yes". I thought about how much I didnt like that mare while I emptied the load and finished cleaning, glaring each time I passed her stall and her still snorting self.

So, this was the mare I was supposed to take my lesson on now, to try and communicate with and learn something from? Ugh. I haltered her up (quietly) and brought her into the cross ties. Nothing eventful happened as I groomed and tacked her, except for some pinned mare-ears at the saddle reminding me that mares have never been my friend.

I climbed aboard and we walked - at a brisk pace. I knew from watching others ride her that she can be quick and somewhat short-strided, but I didnt know how much she seemed to resent the bit. If I lifted on the reins she simply lifted with her head and hollowed away from it. She was so robust around the waist I felt I was sitting on a couch. Even though her saddle size is the same as Milo, she felt almost pony-like in comparison. But we walked around and she jigged a little, Sarah told me to torso rotate back and forth and to start developing an awareness of my femur.

This last weekend was a yoga session and Peggy day out at Sarah's farm (one that I was not able to attend thanks to work), and one of the concepts that everyone learned from the weekend lessons was a better definition of what our core is, and an awareness of our femurs. Firstly, the core, as Sarah told me from the yoga instructor, was the entire part of our bodies, minus the extremities. I had remembered reading this idea on Melissa's blog just a day prior, and had already been thinking about it. But Sarah added onto that an awareness of the spot between our shoulder blades. She said that for our core to be engaged we needed not only our abdominal region, but that upper location on our back as well. She said, "make your shoulder blades smile" with the idea being to engage that location, but not shove our shoulders back and hollow out the back as is typically occurred in equitation. It coincides with the idea to lift at the sternum, but to be aware of the spot between the shoulder blades for engagement as well.

I thought about this as I continued to walk and trot on Ellie Mae. I was encouraged by Sarah to respond to her evasions by more leg and engagement of my core. This moved us into the acknowledgement of my femurs as well. Sarah wanted me to be aware of them and to let them loosen up. She had me do this by "jiggling" my legs lightly with the concentration at the femur not the lower leg. The idea was to loosen the leg from the hip joint then below. As she described to be later after the lesson, you can have total freedom of the lower leg to cue or move, even if the femur is locked. So just moving the lower leg does not mean that the femur and hip is relaxed. I needed a stronger awareness of the upper part of my leg and it's attachment. I got a better idea of this in the lope.

Ellie Mae was difficult and resistant to a lot of the same kind of work I have been doing on Milo and Wesley. Instead of a willingness to work, like with Milo, she fought the work accepting it as too hard and simply evading from my requests. Most of what we were working on was engaging her abdominal muscles and working over her back while still traveling forward, or more specifically, a shoulder fore or hip in on an arc. When I asked for the simple arc on a circle with my leg back at C, instead of bringing the hip in she just wanted to lope off. I hand it to her though that her lope was not quick or terrible, but it really was not the right answer. Sarah told me she believed a lot of the training she had had done previously was not fun for Ellie Mae, which really made her resent a lot of things. Furthermore, when Ellie Mae thought she did something right (such as lope off when I asked her to bring her hip in) it was very difficult for her to come back down to a trot and quit loping. She got something in her head that she was supposed to do (and was easier than what I was really asking for) and was hell bent on doing just that.

When I did get her back to a trot and repeatedly she loped off from the hip in request, Sarah had be change it up and work on a shoulder fore. As you might remember when she has had me work on this with Milo, the shoulder fore is asking the hip to go out (slightly) while the shoulder stays on the straight line and body remains slightly arced. This too was hard for Ellie Mae, but after a few tries we finally were getting a few willing steps.

The from the shoulder fore (which you might recognize sounds a lot like a lope departure), I could half halt and smooch into the lope, which we did. At the lope, Ellie Mae was quick and hollow, and as I result I started to brace against her and lock my hips and femurs, which resulted in a driving seat. Sarah called me out on it, and encouraged me to engage my entire core and really let my legs jiggle as we loped. It was hard for me as her body was so round and her stride so different. But eventually I was able to relax my outside leg, it was the left one that was still holding on for support. A few more lope circles later and more concentration, and I was finally able to let go of that leg. We loped in tandem together and I couldnt help but say, "Ohhhh..." as it finally was making sense. Ellie Mae found a perfect rhythm and relaxed as I had. Sarah even commented that the quality of the movement I was getting out of the mare was exceptional.

We were able to repeat the work the other direction, and I couldnt help but enjoy what this little mare had to offer. Opinionated as she was, sneaky as she is, she taught me something. And I couldnt wait but to rush out to Milo and try it with him.

Ellie Mae

Puzzle Pieces

I've had a hard time coming up with how to write this post the past couple of days. Probably because in my last lesson I never had that big Aha moment like I typically do. Not saying I didnt get as much from the lesson, but I just havent been able to find the words to express what happened.

When we arrived at Sarah's last Saturday, she wanted to get on him first. Milo tried hard for her, didnt give as much sass as he usually does to people who arent Mom, and what Sarah told me from her time on him was that he dramatically walks out of his left shoulder. He also had a really hard time with holding the shoulder straight and staying over his back. Her reasoning from this was that his shoulder bulge is an overcompensation from my exaggerated right seat bone, as discovered in my lessons on Wesley. Aside from that, Sarah noted that Milo is strong and has all of the pieces in place. It is now my job, and challenge, to figure out how to put all of the pieces together to form the puzzle.

I have to find a way to stay soft in my body, to stay in tune with it and Milo's and to ride in one unit.

I have been experimenting throughout the last three rides since that lesson. Today, I slowed everything down and focused on myself and my horse every step of the way. Trying to avoid micromanaging, I simply wanted to be aware of what my body was doing to effect how Milo's body responded.

Immediately, I noted how he walked off not in a straight line, but always with the left shoulder leading. Why was this? I focused on my body and concentrated on my seat bones. I tried again and again, keeping my seat balanced over both seat bones, and soon Milo was stepping off straight with his shoulders in check.

Now forward, I remembered Sarah telling me in the lesson to be aware of Milo's hip. When I ask for his shoulder he has been evading by bringing the hip in which does bring the shoulder in eventually, but he still is walking out the shoulder. Staying aware of this evasion, I again tried to find the cause in my body. When I found it was due still to an imbalance in my hips, I righted them and when the evasion occurred, I used a subtle half halt in the outside rein to rebalance Milo over his drive leg. It seemed to work for a step or two, and when I arced him slightly it seemed to improve more.

I experimented more on my body throughout the ride, and tried to maintain a light seat with relaxed ankles. It feel odd to be in such a position, but the elevation in my horse's back was notable. Clearly we were working together, step by step.

No incredible spins or slides, no fast lope circles or lead changes. Just trying to figure out how the puzzle goes together.

Pizza Slices and Motorcycles

Sarah watched me quietly as I warmed up Wesley. Remembering what she told me during our last lesson, I tried to remember to keep the contact through my reins as steady and straight to the bit as I could; I wasnt supposed to cross over the neck and give an indirect aid, we were working on straight. As Sarah reminded me in this lesson, straight cannot come from an indirect rein aid, I had to think of the reins like a chute, and my job was to keep Wesley straight in the chute. This analogy worked much better for me than trying to simply keep my rein contact straight to the bit.

Further working with my rein aids, Sarah demonstrated to me how when I simply curl my wrists to engage the bit, it simultaneously makes my upper body curl downward, and hunch over. The idea is to stay tall and engaged in my body always and through transitions. So she demonstrated a better way to aid with the rein; come upward and out slightly, not a big dramatic movement like you might imagine, but simply picking up the reins in a different way that would not only still aid in a straight manner (and with no indirection), but also allow my body to maintain up and breathing. I could think of this as maintaining a pizza slice in my reins, with the base of the slice being at my hands, and the tip at the bit and mouth. This subtle change was amazing in the results I would get from Wesley.

Sarah kept reminding me to breathe throughout everything. To steady by body, and Wesley's, by breathing rhythmically. She further explained that studies have shown that horse's breathing rates are far slower and more methodical, more meditative, than in humans. If I could slow down my breathing and get closer to that of the horse's it relaxes the both of us. And when I do, it truly feels meditative. Breathe in through the nose for a few strides, breathe out through the mouth for another few. It was amazing.

I just had to remember to continue breathing while cuing for something. I found (Sarah pointed out) that in any cue I tend to hold my breath, which in turn makes me tense by body. I thought this through and discovered that I hold my breath in an anticipation for the horse not responding. Its as if I wait there for a minute and think, "I hope you are going to do as I ask". Even as I cue, I dont seem to truly expect that what I ask for is going to happen. It seems that I subconsciously think that the horse is always going to choose the wrong answer, and I will have to discipline as necessary. This realization made me somewhat sad.

Sarah simply reminded me to breathe through the transition, believe in the horse, because if I don't believe that the right answer will happen, then the horse can pick up on that doubt and subsequently, be doubtful, probably then resulting in the wrong answer.

When our trot, walk, and transition work was good, we walked for a few moments before moving into the lope. In this work was where the lightbulb really turned on.

"Half halt ... lope," Sarah would instruct for our lope transition. The idea in the lope departure is to get the outside drive leg engaged and ready to propel forward. The horse's energy needs to be back and on the drive leg to cleanly step into the lope. This is why we push the horse onto the outside drive leg, and therefore, onto the outside rein, while maintaining an arc to the inside. The half halt comes when you feel the outside drive leg just come forward before hitting the ground, because the half halt asks that drive leg to come into the ground and prepare to, well, drive. Half halt, lope.

As we loped a twenty meter circle, Sarah asked if I felt how Wesley was tipped at his back, much like a motorcycle looks when going around a corner. I could feel it, and I voiced that I feel like Milo moves like this a lot. Without really knowing how to correct it, I usually just picked up on the inside rein in an effort to lift the inside shoulder. In fact, Sarah said, it is not the shoulder we need to focus on, as that is just the result of the loss of the outside drive leg. Wesley was tipping over because he was not over his drive leg, and therefore the shoulder fell down. To capture that outside drive leg was to use the half halt at the precise moment, again. With the half half, I would also need to maintain that Wesley was on the correct arc, and my body was allowing it as well. Sarah instructed me to rotate my body into the direction of the horse's movement. Not tip my weight into the inside, but rotate towards the inside. As soon as I found that perfect degree of rotation, Wesley slowed down and stayed upright. I couldnt help but give myself a little grief as I poked fun at how simple it was and yet how I just couldnt seem to find this on my own.

After we caught some air at the walk, it was time to try the lope the other direction. Half halt, lope. Still riding without stirrups, this direction was suddenly harder and Wesley was much more quick and rushy. Sarah quickly noted that I needed to get my weight off of my outside (left) seat bone. This was causing Wesley to drop his shoulder to the inside, which further resulted in me sitting more deeply on the left seat bone. I noted that this is an extremely difficult direction for Milo and I, where I feel that because of the shim needed on the left side, I have to compensate for it by sitting deeper on that seat bone. And when I do, we motorcycle. Just as we had done the other direction, I needed to rotate my body into the direction of the horse's movement, and get my weight off of the outside. She further encouraged me to bring my outside leg further back, and create an arc in my body for Wesley to follow. As I tried to rotate my body in, I thought I was at the right degree when Sarah told me to bring my shoulders more into the turn. I turned by upper body more and voila, Wesley come up straight, and was able to power from the drive leg. We loped circle after circle, as I concentrated on how different (and correct) this feels versus the motorcycling. How was m body different? How did my seat bones feel? Was I breathing? As I memorized all that this felt like, I continued to work on my breathing, and as I slowed down, so did Wesley. I was able to keep a feel on the reins, but give him more slack.

It made so much sense.

Lets See How Far We've Come

I have been thinking lately about the changes in both Milo and I in the last year. While I have been working with Sarah through saddle fitting for well over a year, a year and half to be more exact, its only been a year last November that I have been working on my horsemanship with her through taking lessons. Somehow, it feels like it has been so much longer than that. Probably because not only has my way of riding changed, but the way I view my horse, my equipment, and myself in this whole process. I take more responsibility for myself in effecting the way my horse is, not simply blaming our shortcomings on Milo. I have learned how paramount my role is in our partnership. Milo truly mirrors me, and sometimes I have to accept that the difficulties we have are a reflection on my shortcomings as well.

Moreover, my entire way of thinking around horses has changed. From a very dominant-based belief system, to one that encourages working in a partnership, fluidity, and open-mindedness. One of the best ways I could think of to give "outsiders" (those that are not directly involved with Milo, myself, or Sarah's program) a visual change, I thought comparing between the first reining show I competed in after working with Sarah, to the most recent one in September. See if you find the most visual changes that I did (because you cannot see the non-visual ones where I have changed).

November, 2010 - one lesson with Sarah

September, 2011 - nearly a year after working with Sarah

I chose the Dave Reaume class over the Novice because the pattern is much closer to that used at the winter schooling series. 

I want to first compare some of the differences in me and my body, because I know it subsequently had/has a great effect on the way that Milo's moves. Firstly, my body position. From most basic being the position in the saddle, more upright and on my seatbones, to the strength in my core and raised sternum. At this show I was also using (and still am) my diaper, aka, a shim on the saddle under my left seatbone, helping to keep my seatbones level. In turn, the correct position in the saddle allows my legs to fall more "correctly" underneath myself, while I try and maintain relaxation in my ankles. Moreover, I think as an entire image, I look far more quiet, and much more engaged than in the early video. While I still see things to work on, I also see things that have improved since just Septemeber, thanks to continued lessons on Milo and lessons learned from Wesley. 

Now onto Milo. Again, aside from the obvious that Milo's "frame" looks prettier and his head is down, I see a much more relaxed and complacent horse. While Milo still maintains some of his 'tude through tail swishing, it is much less frequent and mostly shows up from a request of mine. But note on the circles he keeps a relaxed and swinging tail, much different than before. This, to me, shows a much happier horse in his work, as well as a much more comfortable horse as well. Continuing onto movement, Milo is traveling much more balanced and unrestricted then before, starting to use his body instead of dragging himself along. This comes from two reasons, I believe; one, the change in my body, as I too am trying to use my body more effectively, rather than sitting atop Milo and asking him to do all of the work while I just enjoy the ride. This easily provides reason number two, which is that Milo's body has physically changed. Just look at the two videos, would you not agree that Milo looks like an entirely different horse (except for the similar markings)? A powerful large hind end with impulsion lifts the developed and stronger back, aided by an engaged core as well. This flows into a lighter and more fluid shoulder released of a lot of tension and allowed the move more freely, which releases the tension in Milo's neck as well, showing off a well toned head and neck. 

These different qualities all come from some of the same few changes that follow with Sarah's three "F's": Feet, Feed, and Fit. First, we started with Fit, that of the saddle. It has truly been amazing to me so see how hugely the fit of the saddle effects the movement and well being of the horse. I look at Fit as not only that of the saddle, but of all of the equipment used; from a proper bit for the job that the horse enjoys as well, to the fit of the human on the back as well. A properly fitting saddle does nothing for the horse so long as the human is not riding the horse in a way that benefits him. While Feed has not been a huge change as far as hay goes (I have no control over the hay the barn feeds), I have changed the supplements and nutrition that Milo receives. I believe that the Dynamite products have helped my horse in more ways than I have even noticed. From a shinier coat, to a stronger body, the high quality products I have used from them, all natural too I might add, have definitely changed the overall well being of my horse. Last to change was the Feet. This was one I was reluctant to change, mostly just to the fact of human ego and embarrassment. I wasnt sure how to tell my kind farrier that I simply did not like the way Milo's feet were being handled. Moreover, however, I did not truly see the problems that his feet were creating, it was simply the word of Sarah that there was a problem. I am glad that I trusted her knowledge to change, otherwise, I believe a lot of the progress we have made would not have happened. The feet really make the horse, and Milo's previous hooves were not helping his body at all, they were exacerbating problems in the shoulder, ribs, and back, and not allowing our progress to move forward.  

Do you see some of the same things that I do? Lets see where we are in another years time. 

Why Wesley? Why not Milo?

"Just let his motion become yours. Instead of your energy moving differently than his, melt into his back - sounds sort of...voodoo, but thats the only way I can describe it."

"I knew exactly what you mean," I responded to Sarah with a laugh. I would just have to find how to do just that.

I tried to focus on Wesley's two beat gait, up and down, allowing my energy to flow up and down, without my body constricting this fluid dance that Wesley was inviting me to enter. If I could just learn the steps to dance with him.

"Breathe..."

In and out, up and down, I tapped my toes in relaxation in stride; now I was in the dance, the two beat gait, the energy of Wesley. Magically, Wesley's scrambled gait slowed way down and his head dropped down a bit as he lifted his back.

"Stay strong in your core, there's too much movement in that area."

I tried to engage my core, but when I did my back got tight right at the base, and I collapsed at my rib-cage, disallowing the flow of energy up and down. Wesley sped up.

"Find the rhythm again.You must stay strong in your core through every step. Breathe..."

I found it again, and Sarah directed me to lope. Still with my hands low and only cuing if needed, no picking, I had to allow Weez to step into the lope, without a bunch of fuss or control on my part, as is typical for my micromanaging self.

"This is a finished horse, he knows how to step right into the lope with only a thought."

Into the lope we were in an instant, and instinctively within a few strides I lost the now three beat rhythm Wesley and I were previously sharing. He sped up, I tensed. I needed to find that rhythm again. But this was a whole new ball game at the lope.

"Your midsection is moving too much again, remember the birthday breath, but stay relaxed in your back."

It seemed the only way I could achieve a quiet, engaged core, resulted in my inside, right toe, pointing up and out, in tension. I was made aware of this, so tried to relax my body. Which mad my midsection wiggle. So I engaged again, which caused a tensed right foot. What...? I voiced this correlation to which Sarah found interesting. I could tell she was curious; maybe she will have an answer for me the next time I see her. Irregardless, I seemed to find the rhythm for a lap or so, and then I felt the inner part of my thighs screaming, telling me I couldnt possibly hold this posture for another stride. So, with great effort to not collapse down into the trot, I stayed strong for a moment longer, and slightly caved my lower back. Wesley responded in a nice downward transition, and I collapsed into the saddle.

Later, I mounted Milo in a crowded arena, and for 45 minutes, desperately tried to find that beautiful two beat rhythm I had shared with Wesley.

I couldnt, for the life of me.

We loped, and loped longer, hoping I could find that perfect moment, just one stride, where we felt the dance.

I laughed to a Mom watching her daughter ride, protesting that Milo had three days off and now had no work-ethic. It seemed like a good excuse.

We walked for a while - why couldnt I find it at the walk? The simplest gait, I couldnt achieve. Finally, I was aware of the tense knot in my lower back. I had to release that tension - riding shouldnt make my back hurt, clearly I was riding wrong.

I breathed, and allowed my back to soften, and to melt into my horse better. We were again at the lope, and I found a half circle of rhythm. Thank you, Milo. For not allowing me to blame my horse, but rather, look to myself for the tension.

Its still a work in progress, as I learned from today's bareback ride. But at least I am aware.

Forward to the Halt

"What is a transition?"

That question asked by Sarah suddenly made me think. I know what a transition is, but how am I supposed to describe it correctly? I knew what was in store for the lesson ahead now, but was eager for it because transitions, particularly downward ones, are a difficulty that Milo and I share (probably just me).

Sarah explained as I rode Wesley that a transition is any change of energy be it upward, downward, even a change of rein. A halt and a back were transitions as well. She also described the importance of  consistent contact throughout all transitions. Sarah added that it is very common for riders to want to drop the contact in forward transitions. I must admit to this one. Furthermore, forward is key in every transition, back to front.

She had me transition from walk to halt to back to forward. If Wesley hollowed his back and stopped hard, he was disconnected. If he dropped his back in the back up, we lost connection again. They key was to find the downward transition from my body and keep the forward energy throughout. A few tries in and I found it from the walk to halt to back - fluid throughout as if there was no transition between. We moved it to the trot, remembering to stay forward, but not quick. From trot to walk forward was again emphasized. As I prepared for the downward transition, I stayed as soft and allowing as possible in my body, while keeping the same consistent connection through the reins and my legs. It took about the length of the long side of the arena before Wesley finally came to a trot, but what the difference was between just a late transition and this one was how "high" or "tall" those trot steps were before coming to the walk. In an effort to stay connected and engaged from the rear, Wesley slowed his trot way down, but didnt loose the energy, so the movement was much taller since distance wasnt being used. Sarah commented how nice of a transition that was. By finding the right cue through my body but not allowing Wesley to fall into the transition, we maintained our forward energy down into the walk. It was incredible.

Next was adding a third gait to these transition exercises - the lope. Forward but not rushed was the goal in the upward transition into it, and it was very nice. As we loped along, Sarah wanted me to stay aware of Wesley's neck, moreso the spinal column of it. While I was maintaining consistent connection through the wall of my outside rein, Wesley's eye was just tipped off of center allowing his inside shoulder to fall into the inside, and subsequently, lose the hind end. Sarah asked for a "twirl" of the neck, not a dramatic tip to the inside, but just a reminder, a request really, to come to straight and "twirl" that spine of the neck to straight if not slightly tipped. If I demanded the twirl of the neck, those muscles I was specifically pinpointing would lock down and Wesley would never come back to straight and engage his hind. It was a "pretty please would you use those muscles" request, and it worked. It was extremely subtle in the visual change in his neck, but I felt the difference as Wesley came back onto his hind end and moved straight.

Working with our transitions again, we went forward into the trot, and when Wesley was quick and disconnected after a few strides, Sarah suggested trot and turning, trot and turning left and right to loosen his shoulders and unlock the base of his neck that he was now bracing. She emphasized that it was the quality of the movement that mattered, not speed in his steps. Trot and turn, trot and turn, left and right, right and left, and I got softer in my body directing Wesley from one direction to the other with my seatbones and only the smallest of requests from my reins. When da Weez finally lowered his head almost right to the ground and lifted his back more than I had ever felt from him before, our trot circles were relaxed and fluid and I went back onto the straight-of-way. Tempted to move back into the lope, instead I did the opposite and went forward into the walk, then the halt and back. That Western Riding pony parked his big tushy like he hadnt done before with me and stayed soft and in connection throughout the transitions. That was the time to get off.

What had I taken away when I climbed aboard my own horse three hours later? Forward into transitions, a twirl of the neck when needed, and staying consistent in my contact through all different transitions. I also remembered to utilize the trot and turning when needed after my horse was rushed and locked at the base of the neck after some lope work. Remembering to come off "pattern" when needed and get my horse back to soft, fluid, and engaged before resuming is a concept I needed to hear again as I know I can get stuck in an exercise. I was not perfect by any means, but we had some great work, and more homework to work on as well. Forward into transitions, finding them through my body and maintaining connection. Come off pattern.

We have Access! And a Lesson

Yay! We werent left in the dark too long without a computer, fortunately. As it turned out, after all my bills were paid I had some extra cash I was planning on putting towards my trailer payments. But we skipped that for now and Boyfriend matched my cash amount with his own and we were able to stop at Best Buy last night and get ourselves a new HP laptop. Much more updated than the old one we were using before.

So as I had informed you in the last post, I had a lesson (on Milo!) at Sarah's yesterday. After five weeks we were finally able to get Milo out there and get a much needed and long overdue lesson. Unfortunately, the paint we needed to paint his hocks with was not available and would need probably a few more weeks to get here. I was bummed to hear that news as I felt my horse really needed his hocks painted pronto. Sarah, however, had another thought after watching him move.

I was warming him up at the walk and trot, undersaddle and with spurs although with feet out of the stirrups, as Sarah finished up helping someone with stalls. When she was done, we watched for a new moments and commented that our work looked really good. She said he was stepping up nicely from the rear. She believed that we could supple Milo's hocks a bit more before getting the paint on. As she stated, the universe was telling us through the paint not being ready, my farrier not having the slide plates, and both his and my schedules not matching up to put them on, that Milo needed more time before we painted his hocks.

She wanted us to work on long serpentines at the trot and to find straight. As we weaved back and forth, and Milo kept fishtailing his hip out on the turns, Sarah asked why she kept seeing this happen over and over even after she told me to be aware of it. To be honest, I wasnt sure what I was supposed to be accomplishing initially, and only felt the fishtailing when she commented on it. She told me that as we came out of the turn, I needed to capture his hip swing with my outside leg back. I tried again and again and still couldnt seem to stop the hip swing, turning to the right was most difficult. Why was this important? Because if his hip swung out, the inside power leg was torquing and therefore was not strong and could be causing inflammation and soreness.

Then Sarah told me I needed to stop looking at his head. The head comes last behind what the hip and barrel is doing. If those are in place, the head will be too. If I only focus on his head, that is the only awareness that my body has of his. So as we came out of the serpentine circles, I was to focus on something across the arena and ride straight to it. It took a couple of attempts before I was able to maintain focus on something without looking back down at Milo's head. And Sarah was right; finding a point to ride straight to allowed me to be aware of and feel the hind end.

Now that my perception of his rear was back, turns to the left were starting to come together, where I could capture his hip before swinging out and use his power leg to propel forward and straight. However getting the same good straight turns to the right were still difficult. After a few more turns Sarah commented that I was using my inside rein too much in the turn, and being that is my dominant, right, hand, I was snatching at his mouth making him curl to the inside, bulge his shoulder out, and therefore swing his hip out to balance. What I needed to be doing was asking for the turn with my outside rein, which would then catch his shoulder if needed, and allow straight to happen.

As the right turn came up, I dropped my right hand down so there was no way I could pick it up unintentionally in the turn. I turned with my left rein and body, and put my left (outside) leg back to block the hip swing. And he turned right over on his power hock, maintained straight, and propelled forward, strong. We had done it!

Sarah recommended that we continue to work on this exercise, and for me to build more awareness of not only the rear end, but my entire left side as I dont have the same feel on the left as I do the right. She challenged me to use the Motivator stick in my left hand only so I could begin to gain some ambidexterity between my hands. In addition to this serpentine exercise, she recommended going back to the circle figure eight exercises she was having me work on last winter. It would not only help me gain awareness of his hind end, but build strength and supple his hocks as it required both he and I to be aware of the hind end.

So although we didnt get "accomplished" what was planned for the lesson, I am happy with where we are at and working towards, with confidence that come the time to paint and shoe, Milo will be strong and where he needs to be. It will also provide me with some time to work on a few more things within myself. In just the last two weeks of bareback and spur-less riding, I have made headway in finding relaxation in my ankles and becoming more aware of my horse's body. I think if I put my mind towards continued awareness of Milo's and my body, that I can find success in it again.

Another winter of working on myself! At least this time I have a saddle...although I think at minimum twice a week I want to utilize the bareback pad again. It may actually be time to replace the fluffy pink pad too...

A Very Tense Body

Wesley was hopping and agitated as we loped along the arena wall.

"Do you feel him popping you out of the tack like that?" Sarah asked me.

"...yeah."

"Relax your lower back, and your ankles! Think about the beach ball: hold it tight in your core, filling the space in your lower back...slow down the tempo."

Another lap and there was no progress. What was going on?

"Something in your body is driving this horse nuts, Nina," Sarah firmly said, then finished, "Walk. Now."

I did as instructed. "Torso twists. You are all locked up and it is driving this horse bonkers."

Walk and turn, walk and turn. Sarah kept telling me to relax. Start in my ankles, up to my knees, and through my whole body. No matter how hard I tried it didnt seem to be what Sarah was looking for. "Drop your stirrups," she said, "stretch your toes down....move them in small circles, stop equitating them."

I had a really hard time with this. If I was thinking about my ankles, then Wesley wasnt directing where I needed him to be, so I would try and use my leg to keep him forward, or off the outside rein. But Sarah didnt want to see that; "if you need to get impulsion, cluck and move him forward with your body, no leg."

Now how in the heck was I supposed to get him forward without leg? I have always ridden a horse with leg. Was I to expect that Wesley would maintain impulsion from voice alone? When I tried Sarah's way, wouldntyaknow, Wesley maintained forward.

"This looks nice, Nina. Now keep it and, when your ready, go into the trot." The trot was hard as well. I could keep my ankles relaxed for only a mere second or so, and then I would go back to tight. There were so many things to be thinking about, and now we were at the trot, still trotting and turning, trotting and turning. There were moments where my ankles were free and relaxed, but they would rhythmically bump Wesley's sides, and I would instantly tighten them so they did not do that.

Sarah commented that the work looked much better, but I responded that I was uncomfortable with bumping Wesley inadvertently with my spurs. "I feel bad," I said. "Dont feel bad," was the response, "a horse knows when your leg is bumping, relaxed, and in rhythm, and when your spur is applied with purpose behind it." She then went on to add that her leg freely swings in rhythm with her horses, even the babies. They all learn that relaxed leg is nothing to concern about, but a spur with intention is one to abide by.

I tried to let this soak in, and allowed my legs to bump in pace with Wesley. Then it was time to focus on other areas of my body. Trotting and turning, trotting and turning, I was driving him every step of the way. If I wanted him to turn one way, I would rotate my body into the turn first and actually stiffen that side. I needed to be following the movement of the turn, not forcing it. My hand would gently guide his nose one direction and my body held the direction of the other for just a split second before his body would move the new direction. As Sarah put it, there is a slight moment where his head is turned, but not his body. Follow the body not the head.

Sarah reminded me that this work was not a forceful work. It was work that allowed the horse to free up in the front end and loose any tightness. I needed to allow the body to move, particularly the spine. My tenseness was inhibiting free motion on the spine, particularly scaring Wesley especially when we had been loping. I immediately thought to Milo, and the last couple rides I had on him where I forced him around in the work. Guilt ran through me. This was most certainly why we were having problems last week and I felt I needed a lesson with him ASAP. Again, the problem was coming from me, not my horse. It was a humbling moment.

"When you are ready, and Wesley is balanced in the outside rein with a slight tip of the nose to the inside, as for the lope." The first attempt yielded no departure, as I did not actually have him on the outside rein. I also tensed in my legs and ankles as I tried to wrap my leg around him for the cue. That clearly did not work. So this time when he was actually on the outside rein, I just barely let my leg fall back and smooched for the lope. Wesley stepped right into it, but was a little rushed and frantic. At the lope, there was no way I could maintain everything and still try and rotate my ankle. It just wasnt happening. But then Sarah had me try the strangest thing.

She told me to point my toes straight out away from the tack a foot or so, then lift my knees.

"What? I dont understand what I'm supposed to be doing," I said, as we loped past and I flopped around like a fish.

"Just raise your knees up towards your shoulders away from the tack."

Sheesh, easier said than done. What I seemed to manage to do only resulted in a huge amount of tension on the top of my feet as I tried to hold my knees up while loping on a horse. I voiced the tension I was feeling. "Keep your ankles relaxed," was the response. Wtf? This was an instant reaction to having to hold my knees up. Well, apparently I was still not doing it correctly. My knees needed to not only come up from the saddle, but away from the saddle.

I flopped my knees to the right position but there was no way in hell that I could hold it. "There you go," Sarah said. That was what you wanted??? That crazy spasmic fish flopping? She said that the goal was to relax my hamstring muscle.

But wouldn't you know, when my hamstring was relaxed, when my legs were flopping and bumping Wesley in rhythm, when I was strong in my core and holding Wesley with the outside rein, Wesley loped a beautiful circle, in his bad direction.

"Now, I want you to think about what happened here," Sarah said. And the lesson was over.

A New Bending Exercise

Sarah took the snake exercise one step further with Milo and I Sunday. Although different from the snake exercise, it has similar qualities in that there are serpentines involved, but much more so in just the head oscillation we were going for in the snake. This new exercise was not given a name, but it's purpose is to open the shoulder and allow Milo to release the tension he is still holding over his shoulders and at his withers. It is another key to unlocking that very tight and protected area for Milo. The bulges over his shoulders are reducing in size, but this next element should really help him lift at the wither and stay soft and supple through the shoulder, neck, head and body.

With Milo's head turned to one side with just the inside rein (I was not allowed to support him with the outside rein), and mind you this is a soft feel, allowing Milo to keep his head down and soft but bent around, Sarah had me walk small but forward circles and abruptly change directions and repeat the other way. The purpose was not to get a perfect circle, in fact, many times we did not complete an entire circle before changing back the other direction. The purpose was to open up the shoulder area for Milo by going from one extreme bend right into the other.

We increased this to the trot and repeated it all, making the circles tighter and more challenging as time progressed. As Milo did well, we could go off pattern for a bit - trot a large circle, go a little on the rail, then come back to the exercise. Milo was starting to feel really soft and loose, and I was even feeling that "knock" right as Milo hit straight, then turned to the other direction as Sarah had described the feel to me.

Next it was time to hit the lope. Now, all week long I have been trying to keep my legs and ankles relaxed in the right position (just behind the girth with toes easily pointing forward, not out), so I was a little concerned that I might get tight because this exercise made me think instead of being able to focus on my ankles so much. I never did hear any reminders from Sarah to stay soft so they must have been ok.

It was interesting as we tried the circles and bending at the lope because when we would come off pattern to a circle, the basic circle was where Milo would fall apart. But finally it seemed to make sense to me how the exercise was actually supposed to be worked, and there was a moment where I thought I needed to change outside rein back and forth as needed as we went from counter canter to regular and vice versa. In reality what I really needed to be doing was staying consistent with the true outside rein, even on the counter canter. What I really needed was to "stop being so nice" as Sarah put it, and instead of just guiding Milo through the serpentine, I needed to get a real bend just as we were getting at the trot. I also needed to half halt as needed, but not get heavy in my hands.

So as I came along the long side again, I stayed consistent with my outside rein and got a true bend in the counter canter, and instead of just applying rein pressure, I gave a real half halt. The serpentine was beautiful and just as we came out of the corner my horse loped beautifully. No two men in a horse suit here and no scrambling. It was great. We worked the other direction as well and I got what I was supposed to feel on the other lead too.

To solidify the exercise more, on Monday after I was done cleaning Sarah's stalls, I was able to take a little time and work one of her rehab horses, Joe, on the same exercise. At a higher degree of difficulty, it was fascinating to see from the ground how the exercise was executed and also the results that were shown in Joseph.

I approached my ride that afternoon with no expectations, but knowing this circle and bending exercise was going to be what we worked on exclusively for the next week or so. At the walk and trot, Milo was great. As we moved into the lope, I was aware that I didnt have to fight to keep my ankles relaxed or in the new position. They stayed soft easily and in fact, Milo stepped into our lope very nicely and I enjoyed a nice lope around the rail before getting to work on the exercise again. Milo felt great, and all the pieces were falling into place, I couldnt help but smile and laugh to Milo - this exercise was actually fun. And when I went off pattern and loped a circle, there wasnt a single thing I felt I needed to adjust. It was the kind of feel good ride that reminds us why we ride. No elaborate flying lead changes or patterns, but my horse trying hard for me in an exercise that is very difficult to do. And then to do well at it as well. Just gave me those warm fuzzies.

A Diaper on my Butt?

I warmed up Milo with the Connected Groundwork before getting on. Milo was distracted, looking around at the horses eating breakfast, and the cleaner mucking stalls. There was also a wedding being prepared for and some commotion from a four-wheeler. We found better connection at the trot (seems the trot is our strong gait lately) and just as I slipped the bridle on, Sarah came down from the house. We joked about her "Kenney Chesney" attire as she was sporting flip flops and shorts. After putting on her straw hat, I could now take her seriously as my trainer.

She had me ride straight away from her so she could watch my hips and seatbones. I commented how I found I could find my left seat bone by raising my left leg slightly, which brought my seat bone down. She agreed, and it didnt take but half a lap before she wanted to include a shim. A shim? For me? But we use shims for the horse's and saddle fitting issues. Out came a felt square and some gorilla tape, and Sarah slapped the shim to my left seat bone. I sat down onto the shim and walked around. My first comment was how much longer my legs felt, and how overall I felt very long from top to toe. "Interesting..." Sarah commented, and further explained what was happening with my hips.

She used her hands to help demonstrate, explaining that where one seat bone (the right) is at 0 degrees, the left is say eleven degrees tilted forward, which thereby means the seat bone is not making contact with the saddle. What the shim does, however, is raise that shorter side up and allows the seat bone to come to zero like the other one. I feel "longer" because with my seat bones level, my left leg could now freely extend from the hip joint and in essence, my whole left side lengthened to straight. Another interesting thing happened: my ankles automatically went relaxed and my core engaged. Not too long after this, however, and Sarah wanted to lengthen my stirrup holes by one on each side because she felt I was still holding tension there which flowed right up through my leg and into my seat and body. She wanted me to have to find my stirrups a bit, and stretch the muscle on top of my ankle to help loosen it up.

As we worked in the trot, she also encouraged me to just slightly press down onto my toe as my hip moved the opposite direction such as in our snake trails. This too helped relax my ankles and I found this, combined with the shim and therefore an entire change in my body, make Milo much more capable of moving away from my seat pressure. Sarah even asked if we felt more connected, and I agreed that we definitely did.

We worked on the snake trail, the two track and three track, circles, and through all of this, building strength in the topline as well as the hocks laterally (something that is needed for a good lead change). We found it was pretty easy for Milo to two track to the left, but the right side was much more stiff. This rang true in the snake trail exercises as well, where Milo came off the left easily, but coming back around from the right was stiff and difficult. Sarah encouraged me to continue working on these exercises at home and soon wanted to see our lope. I commented that the lope was ugly lately, and I had an inkling the last few rides that we needed wall reins. Interestingly, as Sarah watched us prepare for a lope departure, she said she felt the exact same feeling and went to retrieve her reins.

She attached the wall reins, and I let Milo get used to them again for a lap or so. Then we moved into the lope. Sarah wanted me to really kick his hip to the inside, and arc him to the inside as well. She then told me the best moment to ask for the hip, when it is just leaving the ground, for the greatest movement of the outside hock. This opportune moment was when the outside fore was just hitting the ground. "Now, now, now" Sarah would comment and she was right - cueing at these precise moments created the greatest lateral reach with the outside hock. I groaned, saying I had to pay attention to footfalls now, which from experience this last winter, rang to be very difficult for me to time properly. She simple laughed and said when I do it enough times, it will come automatic to knowing when to push the right button.

Sarah wanted me to take Milo onto a counter canter, and really push the left hock right again. I had been working on this at home in our counter canter, hearing the voice of Sarah tell me to push it out farther, and remembering the great lateral reach I have been able to feel on Wesley. "Good" Sarah said, and had me counter canter on the rail, then back to a circle. There were a couple moments where Milo broke and it was due to not only a lack in my driving, but he also really wanted to change leads. We came down the long side of the arena on the counter canter, and Sarah told me to change leads. She actually addressed the steps much clearer, but I honestly didnt really hear her as I had to tune into me and my horse. I barely felt that I even did anything (in all honesty, I think Milo changed before I truly told him to), but it was a beautiful change. I felt kind of cheated though because even thinking back now I cant say what I did to get the change. I had been pushing him back to the rail as his shoulder was drifting to the inside, so I think my inside leg coming to the girth, and probably a shift in my seat, cued Milo for the change.

Finally, Sarah shed some more wisdom for our turnarounds. She commented that I was sitting on my outside seat bone during the turn, and I needed to be sitting on the inside one, "holding the inside hock to the ground". I was really confused: all this time I thought I was supposed to be on the outside seat bone to "open the door" for the turnaround to the inside. I thought if my inside seat bone was down, that I was blocking movement. Incorrect, Sarah told me, and demonstrated on my back that if she pushed down into one side, my reaction was to hollow and bend away from it. So when I am sitting on the outside seat bone in a turnaround, I want my horse to arc to the inside, but am creating a response from him to hollow out the outside which in turn, bends him the wrong direction.

I tried to change my seat bone into the turn instead, which was a little confusing at first for Milo too, who had been taught by me to turn away from the seat bone. His confusion led to some stepping out of the turn, but with a half halt on the outside rein, he was directed back to the turnaround. Honestly, his spins were much better and he was able to hold his pivot foot solidly all the way around (so long as I could stay on the proper seat bone).

So many more lessons learned at this lesson with Sarah. Now I have to find a better way to keep my shim attached to me, without leaving gunk residue on my jeans and saddle.

Finally Making Some Sense

I finished cleaning Sarah's stalls, and the fact that it was noon and I had only consumed coffee for the day was starting to get to me. I had the spins and needed water. I decided to watch her ride Jackson, and decide afterwards if I felt up to taking a lesson on Wesley. I watched her do her thing, and the half hour sit in the shade with a cool breeze helped get the oxygen back to my brain, and I was excited and ready to ride Wesley. I remembered that this is the feeling I'm supposed to have when preparing to ride. Not what I had been experiencing lately, but I felt like my mojo was coming back. Yay!

I wasnt sure what was going to be in store for the lesson. I was sure Sarah would find some magical key to my problems, as usual, but I also felt there was going to be some harsh words about my riding. Things had been feeling so wrong lately I was a little unsure about what was to come.

I started out on Wesley just walking and torso twisting. Soon, Sarah recommended stretching my back by reaching from hand to opposite toe. After a few, she told me to allow a total stretch in my back, so my head could face down as well. Weazle wasnt going to go anywhere, so not seeing where we were going for a few moments was ok. I got a few well needed stretches, and as I came back up, I felt just a bit more centered in my seat. I commented that I felt like I was teetering off to the left side, as I had been feeling when riding Milo as well. She watched me straight on and said that no, I looked centered. I figured that was the deal and that all the crookedness in my body just made center feel different and weird. Sarah recommended that if I start really feeling "off" to go back to torso twisting and not allow myself to get "locked" or "stuck" in one position. A recommendation she has been saying to me for as long as I have been working with her. And yet, I always need to hear it.

Again with the torso twisting, and Sarah had me go into the trot. Again I was not focusing on my hands, as I had been trying to retrain myself on for the last week or so, and Wesley certainly wasnt collected, rounded, or engaged. Sarah told me to relax my ankles and stop "equitating". Huh?

It took a bit of concentration to "release my ankles". Then she said I needed to allow my ankles to "flop" in tune with stride. I simply just needed to not worry about having a pretty leg. But....thats what I've been told to do for thirteen years! But I obliged, and after a few moments I was riding from my seat. Suddenly, Wesley dropped his head and raised his back and I commented to Sarah that without balancing off my stirrups, I now had to rely on my core and I could instantly feel my abs engage. The engagement from my body and relaxation in my legs and back allowed Wesley to engage himself and move properly. It was a definite "aha" moment.

I let my body move with him, and we snake trailed for a little bit. There was a moment when I truly felt Wesley's hip engagement, just for a moment, and Sarah commented that that was great and what I was wanting to feel and work towards. I also noted that that was probably the first time ever that I had honestly felt engagement from the hip. Like, actually felt it in my seat. Sarah could only laugh and say that that was good, but I locked that feeling into my mind. I had never felt that engagement before.

We moved into the lope and Sarah reminded me that she wanted to see me really get into my seat and relax my ankles. Immediately I wanted to fall into my "equitation" ankles, but remembered to relax. My core engaged, and Wesley loped beautifully, head down, back up, hip engaged, and with little to no rein except for guidance where needed. It was really cool, and in fact, was so easy. Who knew that being soft and relaxed, but still engaged, was the golden ticket?

Sarah wanted me to counter canter Wesley a bit and really kick his hip out in the counter canter. Counter canter work on the left lead (traveling to the right, counter canter remember, so on my right (heavy) seat bone) felt great. Some reminders from Sarah to keep his nose to the inside and really get the hip out was warranted, and there were some nice moments of lateral reach from the hip and the shoulder, and even some nice straight back to the canter circle. We got a lead change in easily, and worked the other counter canter lead. We had some issues.

Wesley was very upset wanting to change leads and not at all reaching the hind end out. Sarah reminded me that this horse can counter canter all day long, the issue was coming in my body. I had too much inside rein pressure and she reminded me that I cannot force what Im looking for, I have to set him up properly and allow it to happen. As long as I am where I should be. She sort of left it at that for me to figure out. Still with too much hand and no lateral hip, I knew it was coming from my lack of left seat bone. I went down to the trot and tried to find it there. Aha, I had locked into a position again and tightened my ankles. I softened my back, softened my ankles, and allowed myself to find my seat bone, not force it. Suddenly, Wesley moved out laterally. He dropped his head, lifted his back, and moved out as I asked. Again, its just staying soft and engaged.

Back to the lope (we actually got a few strides of real western pleasure loping, which Sarah greatly complemented on) and onto the counter canter right lead. I found my left seat bone much better and we had some nice counter canter work.

Then, somewhere thrown in there, Sarah commented about my outside leg being at "neutral" when loping. It needed to be back in C when we were loping. Wait, what? She told me to put my leg back about two inches behind the rear cinch (but remember, that the rear cinches on the Dave saddles and the way she fits the saddles has the cinch much closer to the front - only like an inch away in fact) and I should have my outside leg back and my inside at neutral. I changed my leg position, and AHA again - suddenly it wasnt so hard to find my left seat bone. With my leg further back, it just naturally falls into place.

Sarah further explained this benefit for a lead change. The outside leg basically is always there to keep the horse in the lope. Then say we come into the center in a reining pattern, and for a moment, it comes to neutral like the inside leg asking for straight between the two circles. Then the new outside goes back and the new inside opens up for the new lead. This totally makes sense with the lead change "steps" she had been telling me before as well: arced, straight, new bend, hip change into new lead. But the legs are much more active that I previously gave credit for. This seems like some elementary knowledge I somehow have been missing out on.

With my legs where they should be, my ankles soft, my back soft, and an engaged core, I loped the rail for a few laps and everything was perfect. Wesley moved beautifully, and we were in sync. I stopped him square and round. Everything felt great. As I cooled him out, I tried for a few turnaround and suddenly they were far easier too. It seemed I finally had all the right basic buttons for this horse and it was by far the best ride I had ever had on him. We finally spoke the same language, and its as if da Weez sighed a relief that this lady could finally ride him correctly.

I love the feeling I get after a lesson with Sarah: confidence! And a sudden awareness and understanding. I couldnt wait to try this out with Milo.

A Spur-of-the-Moment Lesson

Disappointed by next week's work schedule, and with Boyfriend being out of town for the next five days (BIG sad face), I wasnt sure when I would be able to get another lesson on Milo - Sarah hadnt seen him since the horse show. I texted her Thursday saying I was in desperate need of a lesson. My rides werent going well, my horse felt uneven and definitely not coming over his back. I was attempting to work on our lateral and arcing exercises as Sarah recommended after my amazing lead change three days before. But something wasnt connecting with us, and I knew it had to be coming from me. I needed Sarah to tell me what was going on. When could I make it out to her place again?

I was voicing these concerns to my boss and also friend (her daughter boards and trains with Sarah, and I have known them for years through 4-H, they also used to board where Milo is now for a portion of the time he has been there), and she volunteered to take Milo out to Sarahs today since she was already taking her daughter out to ride. I was ecstatic! All I needed was for Boyfriend to drop the trailer off at the barn before heading into work in the morning (leaving for fishing weekend afterwards). Boss came to pick us up sharp at 9:20.

We had a nice haul and it was great to have time to chat with both her and her daughter. We arrived, and Sarah was in high spirits, excited that Boss had volunteered to haul for me on short notice, especially because Sarah will be leaving in the next couple of days for a week long vacation. We both wanted to get another lesson in before this week long break.

I quickly addresses the uneven feeling I had been getting from Milo, and suggested that I thought his hips were out. Sarah checked him out, and indeed, he was out. A quick adjustment, and we were ready to get started. Then Sarah volunteered to strap her spurs on and hop aboard Milo. Of course I had no objections, I really had been wanting her to get on and see what she could tell me. Sarah had only climbed aboard Milo once and that was early into our training together. I wanted her to get on him again now months later, and also address any crookedness that could be going on that I can not feel through the crookedness in my body.

I was embarrassed by how my horse behaved.

Its known that Milo is a Momma's Boy and he doesnt have many other people ride him. But he was snarky, tail swishy, pinned ears and hollow. I felt like a mother whose child is severely misbehaving - in front of others watching as well! Boss commented how agitated he looked, and I could do nothing but agree, and continue to feel embarrassed. I watched how Sarah worked him and saw she was performing very shallow serpentines all along the rail. I thought he was simply acting wiggly, but started to see a type of pattern, realizing it was what Sarah was asking for. Soon, Milo lifted up over his back and his hind legs starting tracking up inches farther then previously. He was telescoping his head and neck forward and reaching in his stride. Then Sarah dismounted and asked me to come over.

She gave me a personal demonstration of feel. Pushing against my chin with her thumbs, she asked what my reaction was. It was to resist against her. Then she positioned her thumbs underneath my chin with a "lift" feel to them. Again, she asked my reaction, which was to follow the feel towards her. This is what is going on between Milo and I. The more I pick and pull on the bridle, the more he wants to resist and tighten against it. Rather, if I lift through my body and support with the rein when needed, he wants to come up into the feel and work with me. Feeling the difference was huge in understanding just what my cues were creating.

Sarah said that I needed to get off his face and find straight in our bodies again. She recommended a lot of trot work because it is a diagonal stride which evenly works both of his sides and is the best gait to work on straight with, and encouraging coming up over the back.

When I got on, I torso twisted back and forth, trying to get within my body. Sarah had me pitch out a lot of rein and to not pick at his face. In fact, if his head came up at all I was to not touch the rein, but to get him to come back up through my body. It was a bit hard, I admit, to not immediately pick up on the rein when he raised up, but Sarah also encouraged me to tap lightly with both my spurs, right then left right then left in stride with the trot. Soon I caught the rhythm, and in fact my whole body swayed back and forth in small torso twists in time with my leg and the stride. Eventually, I didnt need to tap with my leg or spur anymore, and I could just lift my seat-bones and continue to move back and forth with Milo. There were short moments of this great feeling and really feeling my horse coming up over his back, but they were there and just need to be built on.

Sarah then had me do the "snake" exercise, which is what she called the shallow serpentines she was doing with him before. These were just small turns right to left - hardly a few steps off of straight - and the goal was to have Milo find that softness in his jaw and really come over and through the neck with softness and reach. But, I wasnt to turn him each direction with my rein. We had to do it with my body. It was difficult to find at first, but eventually my horse started to really get into the "snake" rhythm and reach up with his stride. It felt great.

But naturally, there were still instances where I wanted to use my rein, and it also became more apparent that I was not straight through my body. Sarah had me do a "butterfly" exercise next. This was a figure eight but at a 90 degree. Basically, only half of a four leaf clover pattern. At the trot still, I needed to find those turns in the butterfly through my body, to totally open my inside rein, and not raise or do anything with my outside rein except support but only as needed. Further, I had to not rely on my outside leg to turn the direction. It was apparent immediately that our turning to the left was far better than going to the right. Sarah asked me what was different in my body from one direction to the next.

I had to think for a moment and feel my seatbones. There it was - my right seat bone, dug into the saddle with  little to no contact with the left. Obviously turning to the left was easy because my right seat bone was directing movement that direction. But turning to the right was hard because that still heavy right side was blocking movement that direction. It took a few tries, and concentrating really hard, but I was able to find my left seat bone more for those right turns and Sarah commented that the last three or so runs through the exercise were much better, I had found the turns through my seat.

Obviously, getting in tune with my seat and my body position is paramount to correct straight riding, but the lead changes will never come through imbalance in my seat, and crookedness in mine and Milo's body. Sarah said to back off of them and the lateral work for now, and just find straight and soft in our bodies. A sharp recommendation to not pick at his face was implemented as well, with the reminder of the pressure I had felt from her thumbs on my chin.

It was exactly the lesson I needed, and exactly the words and feelings I needed to hear. More homework, and more work in my body.

Some Reminders from Wesley and Sarah

Because of the canceled lesson on Saturday, today I was to take a lesson on Wesley instead. Which both Sarah and I thought would be a good situation anyways because I really needed (need) more help on allowing my body to make the lead change. As I tacked him up, reaching for the familiar snaffle bit I had been riding him in previously, Sarah instead had be put in a correctional curb bit and commented that we would be working one-handed. And so the fun shall begin.

I crawled aboard the tall and handsome Wesley and warmed him up walking him and torso twisting. Something felt a bit different in my body, but I couldnt pin point what. True to her intuitive self and sharp eye, it didnt take long until we were trotting and Sarah told me to find that tension in my body and release it. She commented "it could be your lower back..." and as soon as she said that, I knew thats where the tension was, and suddenly a light bulb went off as I remembered back to my previous rides recently on Milo. I had been holding tension in my lower back when riding one handed. Could this be how I have learned to ride one-handed, when I was on the drill team and balanced off of my hands?

It didnt take long as we worked in the lesson and Sarah commented more than once that I was balancing off of the reins and I had to find my seat and my legs. She reminded be that there doesnt need to be contact in a shank bit, and instead of relying on a half halt for instance, we need to find it in our bodies and ride more through leg and seat. She told me for a second time that I am "always riding and in complete control", I need to "let the horse make the mistake and then correct it or else they will never learn.". I even have that on recording from two lessons ago, but I really could feel what she was saying in my one handed riding. Sarah had us work at the lope the majority of the lesson, and of course, the lead changes.

Things just didnt feel like they were going so well in many ways. I couldnt seem to find it in my body to lift Wesley's back and engage his hind, and wanted to hang off of the bridle. If I wasnt hanging, then I was releasing too soon. As we worked down the center line and Sarah repeatedly told me with each pass to find straight, not let Wesley drop his shoulder out, dont let him fishtail, lift him into the bridle before nit-picking. And our lead changes werent that great. I was feeling a real lack of confidence wondering to myself how if I couldnt get a good lead change on this lead changing machine, how on earth could I do this on my own horse? I was starting to feel defeated and then Sarah made it much more clear.

Although she had been telling me to find the new bend with my body and then ask for the change, I just wasnt getting it. Then she finally told me to use my leg to do so. As we loped on the left lead down the center line to prepare for a change, I was to move him laterally just slightly from my right leg to get the bend, then change my hips for the change, opening up my new inside leg, shapping my legs' positions. Finally, the change felt clean and right. I rode him around a little longer and thought about how it happened. Straight, balanced, leg before seat. All in conjuction however. I discovered the difference wasnt just my realization of more leg and less hand, but that I just did it. I didnt over think every individual cue, I just let it happen. Sarah talked to me about what I was understanding but I just couldnt seem to make words of it. I just had to think about what happened.

Although I felt some defeat and lowered self esteem, Sarah encouraged me that things are coming along. Poor Sarah can't make me find it in my body, but she can help support me to discover it on my own. So how would this relate to Milo?

A Blue Ribbon Ride

Saturday morning I was disappointed to wake up and hear the rain. I was scheduled for late in the afternoon for work and had planned on another lesson with Sarah that morning. I gave her a call to see what the weather was like at her house, about 30 miles away. Unfortunately, the weather was as bleak as it was outside my window, and the forecast for the rest of the day continued to call for rain. While a tough Washington cowgirl might have stuck it out and rode in the pouring rain, I decided against it knowing that I not only wanted to subject my saddle to a downpour, but I also knew my horse wouldnt be happy. He hides in his shelter at the first sign of a sprinkle, and it just would not be fair to expect him to work well in weather conditions he despises.

So we decided to make my next lesson this coming Monday on Wesley, and hopefully squeeze in another one the night before the show a week from now. I knew I wanted to ride my horse anyway, and hoped that the indoor arena at the barn would be relatively empty. I was disappointed by the changed outcome of the day, but ended up having a great ride.

Not only did I have exclusive access to the arena (the facility was nearly dead the entire time I was there, which wasnt all that early in the day). I turned up the radio and mounted up. Knowing that in my last few rides I wasnt allowing my body to really work with Milo and not fight against him, I tried to approach the first few minutes in the saddle with optimism and a greater focus on lightening my seat.

At the last lesson I questioned to Sarah why my saddle was producing dry spots just behind the withers. I had been frustrated that the saddle I spent so much money on was now producing these indicators of a poor fit. But moreso, I knew that the saddle originally was producing perfectly even lines, so the change could only be that I wasnt riding Milo and working him as I should be. In fact, the later held to be true this past week, but also Sarah found Milo's ribs and hips to be out again. After an adjustment, we found much nicer sweat patterns after the lesson. But what about this last week? What was I doing wrong?

As I warmed him up those first few laps I considered what the sweat patterns were showing. They indicated my horse wasnt lifting up into the tack from the wither and just behind it. Truly indicating that he wasnt properly elevating his back. I had also noted that the dry spots were larger on the right side than the left, further telling me that my horse was not working both sides evenly.

How could I fix this? While throughout the week I had been trying to focus on my lighter seat, I had noticed my horse wasnt as responsive to my slightly raised seatbones but rather responded more off of my spur. So as I walked him around (and soon jogged) I emphasized a lighter seat before a spur aid. Soon, I could feel the dramatic lift in my horse's back from just lightening my seat bones. I moved this into the jog and soon the lope.

Next I addressed the dry spot on the right side. This indicated that he was dropping his shoulder away and not lifting that side as well as the left. So as I worked him (all my warm up and about half of my riding has consisted of one rein only) I bumped lightly on the right rein and torso twisted as needed to encourage a greater lift in the right side.

I gotta say, our lope work (trot too, but we worked longer at the lope) was exceptional. And this was all one handed with only slight adjustments. Our departures were solid and with a soft jaw, and my horse stayed up underneath me mostly from the aid of my light seat bones. We loped the rail, circles, one center circle, and my horse stayed consistent and round. I have to add, how tickled I have been to find my horse is capable of feeling so "broke". We might not have a slow lope for a western pleasure class (not a goal I have anyways), but I now feel like my horse is touching on the capabilities that he possesses. It is truly something to feel to connected to him and so light in the aids, but have the work so exceptional and correct. Its almost a shame that no one was there to witness it, but I know the ride I had.

Milo got a break from the lope work on the right lead, and he got a lot of praise. He licked and chewed contently, reminding me how responsive he is to positive feedback, something I need to make sure I do much more often. After a breather, we loped off on the left lead, and while a bit more tired, he still worked very very well. There was a minor spook when a boarder took her horse past the back entrance of the arena, but after only a few moments my horse was back with me. I gave him another break, then worked only a few passes on rollbacks, something I had been touching on earlier in the week at the walk and trot. He did very well on the rollbacks too, receiving all A's as he loped right off after the stop, staying soft and round in the bridle. I made sure that I indicated the lead first from my hip and Milo picked them up easily. So I decided to take it to simple lead changes.

As I had spoke with Sarah on the phone that morning, she asked how the simple changes were since I was having such difficulty finding the flying changes in my body. I admitted that in the last week Milo was getting rushy, anticipatory, and very tense in the center expecting a change. She recommended doing one or two step simple changes on the rail, emphasizing straight, soft, and from my seat. I agreed it would be a good way to work on them where Milo was comfortable and unsuspecting of them.

After the short rollback session, I moved right into the simple changes. At first he was slightly tense, then I allowed my seat to soften and found I was tipping forward. I found my center again and we performed some very fluid one or two step changes on the rail, mostly from just my seat. After some consistent and beautiful changes, I had to stop myself from over doing it, but I was having so much fun! I slowed Milo to a walk and gave him more and more praises - he was being so good.

I threw in some spins at the end (which is a whole 'nother accomplishment - my horse is so much fun to spin on!) and after a cool-down I dismounted and hugged my horse, so proud of what we had accomplished that day. I texted Sarah in enthusiasm so pleased with the ride I had. She replied that things happen for a reason, and that I needed to have that ride on Milo that day. I felt that although I didnt get my lesson physically with Sarah, the excitement and joy I usually have after one was there after my quiet ride alone. I was elated. I even texted her saying I felt I was so ready for the show. Although no matter what happens, I know that I had a blue ribbon ride today. I am so proud of the progress my horse has accomplished.

We take to the Lope One-Handed

It seems things always seem to work out, even when Sarah springs it upon catching me entirely unawares. This time, it was taking our riding to one hand. Sounds like a commonality, but I honestly dont think I have ever ridden a well broke horse one handed at the lope (except for Wesley...once). While I had ridden Milo one handed during the drill team, it was NO WHERE near how we are riding today, and I certainly wasnt asking for any self carriage or correct movement.

The lope work, in my opinion, was fantastic. When we went into it I honestly thought it would be a trainwreck, but Milo surprised me so well and loped beautifully on a light contact. While, naturally, we will need to just build on it and school where needed, I was blown away. He stayed relatively balanced and driven, I was totally smitten. Looking at the video now I will definitely need to figure something out better for my right hand instead of the awkward flailing and whatnot, but minor details!

Sarah had be begin working on our slow to fast in the lope, by reaching my hand forward and encouraging him to extend. There wasnt a whole lot of a speed increase, but she reminded me that I can lean forward and take some weight off of his back as well to further encourage the speed increase. Again, something to work on and take some time developing. We dont want him rocketing into the speed increase, so slow and steady will win the race here ironically.

We gave Milo a break and did a little spin work, which is coming along. We have ground contact! Continuing to build strength will be paramount, but with a firm planted foot now, we can incorporate some speed into the mix.

Next we needed to move into our lead changes. The last few weeks of building the counter canter were necessary to assisting in some clean changes. Well, in theory.

Come to find out, there is still an issue with me. Not so much one such as a weighted hip, a needed torso twist, or sitting back. But I need to allow my body to make the change. Yes, one of those abstract things that you cant point your finger directly onto. There were many an attempt where I either held onto the left rein instead of half-halting with it, didnt bring/bump through with my right rein to keep Milo looking into the desired lead direction, or allow my body to change into the lead. And poor Milo, he really wanted to change, and he even began to get a bit frustrated, but the timing just wasnt there.

Sarah encouraged me, however, as I started to lose confidence in myself wondering why it just wasnt happening, saying I should try the work in the large outdoor arena where Milo is boarded, to allow myself to have plenty of space to relax. She attributed some of the anxiety due to her smaller arena where corners and direction come up so quickly. I was skeptical of it's real impact on my riding and doubted real success in the outdoor arena, however, but she further supported me by suggesting I work on it on a nice long straight-of-way on the trail. I just need to experiment with myself more and find where I am tensing up. More self-reflection, oh joy.

We ended the lesson with a little more on the spin work, and Sarah encouraged me to pick up the speed. Milo stepped it up a notch for a few rotations each direction, she she advised to build on that now. She even questioned if I was sure I didnt want to do Western Pleasure, because "Milo has such a cute outline with perked ears". Although its what Milo is bred for, I'm a little burned out. But she agrees Milo will be a great reiner and possibly even some Western Riding thrown into the mix.

I hope to have a lesson this coming Saturday, as I miraculously have it scheduled off of work (how the heck did that happen??). So I'm hoping I can figure out whats going on in this next week, and get more assistance from Sarah before our first Washington State Horseman approved B-System show in only two weeks. While I dont have the time off confirmed just yet, I'm hoping to be able to attend and try my hand at the Green Reiner class, which not only calls for one handed, but also a lead change. No pressure, however, I am not going to get that competitive drive for this show, I know that I am truly in this journey for itself, and the monetary successes will just come with the package when they are supposed to.