I knew it was in there somewhere!

I had a difficult workout with Milo last night. We were both frustrated, tired, and cold. I didnt even get on, his focus was that distracted...by nothing. There was no one there and it was pitch black outside the arena. So I dried him off and put him away. I went home grumpy and upset, but my mood came back slowly once I was home.

I did some thinking on the drive home last night, and really took a good look at why I work with horses. Something had been feeling different...and I think I figured it out. I have a problem with micromanaging. And perfection. So I thought about it and realized that Im never going to have perfection with anything in my life, let alone my horse. I thought back to when I first got Milo, and how much I loved his goofy character. It seems these days Ive been almost wishing it would go away and that he would just be a quiet horse pleased to serve. Once I realized that, I was very upset with myself for feeling that way. When I have Milo's focus he works so hard and so well for me and truely is a horse that tries to please. So when I realized I had been wanting him to act differently, I also came to realize thats not what I want. Im probably confusing anyone who is reading this, but what Im trying to say is that I dont want Milo to change. Somehow and for some reason I had changed and expected him to as well. I was demanding perfection and servitude from him, and he was simply trying to tell me that demanding is not the right route.

So today I make a solemn attempt to not act or think that way. Today when I went to the barn, I simply was just with my horse. Not demanding anything, but just accepting and loving him the way he is. And I could tell he appreciated it, and not only that, but acted better because of it. Anyway, I turned him out while I cleaned the mares' pasture (which btw, frozen poo does NOT come off the ground easily, nor is treking back to the barn multiple times to retrieve a non-frozen hose any fun). Suprisingly, Milo didnt run around like a lunatic, but just walked around and grazed.

So later, I tacked him up and rode. And I wasnt asking for perfection, yes I did correct some unwanted behavior but I wasnt Ms Nazi sitting atop my horse. There were three other girls in the arena receiving lessons, so needless to say it was a full house and lots of excuses for Milo to not pay attention. But all started well, as we meandered through the obstacles put out and avoided any traffic jams. Than the tractor worked on the manure pile just outside of the arena in the "scary corner" which distracted Milo (and another girl's horse) for a moment, but he came right back to me very nicely.

All in all, I was very pleased with today. My change in attitude really seemed to pay off for the both of us, and Milo performed exceedingly well under the circumstances. We didnt work for more than twenty minutes or so, but he definitely deserved to be finished. We will see what the coming days and rides will bring if I can just remember to keep up my better attitude. As a friend posted on facebook today before I left to the barn "The state of your life is nothing more than a reflection of your state of mind." Im glad she posted this.