Thursday, March 17, 2011

Lets Just Get a Few Things Straight

I started this blog with the intentions of having a location to document my work with Milo. May that be the lows that we all face with dealing with horses, or the incerdible highs when something has been accomplished. I also wanted to track all of the work there in between. I write on a blog because it allows me to save and share photos and video, something I cannot save into a handwritten journal. I like the way that blogs can be organized to store posts, and I treat my blog very much like an online journal. I never have expected many people to find interest in what I write, and find it fasinating that people even chose to or "follow" me, so if they do then I hope they can learn about the things that I have experienced works or does not with my horse, and that they can share their opinions and thoughts with me as well. After all, I love to learn as much about horses as possible and one can only learn from the knowledge of others.

That being said, nothing that I post is intended to cause harm to anyone or anything. I post merely first hand accounts towards myself and my horse. I purposfully leave the names of certain individuals or locations out to protect their privacy. In no way do I mean anything malicious in reference to anyone or anything. Unfortunetly, that has not always been taken as the case.

Wednesday afternoon was the first time in just over a year and a half that I felt severe anxiety towards going out to the barn because I knew that there had been backlash against what I had written on this blog. I had been confronted about it, and decided that I would remove the offending paragraph in order to stop any additional upset it might cause. I believe I have been well inside my rights to post my feelings and opinons about things that directly effect myself and my horse. I dont feel that I need to censor my posts to keep other people happy. But I edited the post, and reposted it to Facebook, hoping that those who might have read it before could now see that I edited the post in such a manner that could not be taken negatively. This was done for their benefit, not mine.

This unfortunetely still didnt seem to clear the air about what had been previously written, and as I reached the barn I was immedietly attacked by those who deemed what I wrote as "disrespectful" and "offensive". Needless to say, it jeopardized and invaded my chances on having a serene and personal time with my horse. I was upset enough to consider dismounting my horse and leaving, but ended up clearing my mind and pressing onward.

What I posted was with the intention to show that I was truely happy about having total access to the arena. I did not post with any intentions of making it out to seem that certain people are unbearable to ride with because that certainly was not the intentions behind it. Everyone who reads my blog knows that I get extremely frustrated with the fact that I pay a substantial amount of board money to have access to the arena and when other people limit my abilities to use it, my frustration builds. I always clearly state my mind when I am happy to have the opportunity to do what I please no matter what that may be. The post that caused so much stir was truely with that intention in mind. I was simply expressing how I was jumping up and down in side, itching with the excitement that I might actually be about to work with my horse as I wanted to, and not cater towards the current traffic in the arena. I also hope that anyone who reads can also see that I am very greatful for the facilties that I have access to.

I am very sorry if that intention was not seen. I also profusely apologize for any upset that my blog has or may have caused towards someone because those intentions have never been made. I write from the bottom of my heart, and from what I truely believe in. Milo is why I write. Milo is how I get my sanity out. Im sorry if it was taken across that the post was not in my ordinary line of humor, but it had abosuletly no malicious nature rooted into it. I hope in the future any readers can read the words that I write for what they are, and not read past them to what isnt there.


Mare said...

I completely understand your feelings here. I myself started my blog for no one's benefit but my own, but with the more followers I get, it almost seems like you have to be more cautious about what I write. I don't set out to talk negative about other people, that's not my goal, but for some reason you write something in passing that's not meant to bean insult, and people blow things way out of proportion. It's annoying and ashame...

Sorry people started drama for you...

Karina said...

Wonderfully articulate Nina. Even though I stumbled across this by accident on facebook, and we haven't actually talked in forever, I felt compelled to read this entry. Your voice within your writing is very powerful and to the point. I remember you always taking things head on, even when we were young. Something's never change :) In any case, keep doing what you're doing, and never fear voicing your opinions. Most of all, good luck continuing your work with Milo!


Story said...

Lately I've had a lot I'd like to say on my blog but since my readers include people from my barn, I feel the need to censor myself and I hate it because the topics are important to me. Already I was told that my post last summer about the lady who felt the need to practice training techniques on my horse without my knowledge was walking a thin line. I don't ever intend to trash on anyone and always do my best to provide complete anonymity for all involved...but now it's at the point where I just don't talk about anyone in any way. It's really crippling my blogging. Right now I've got a couple issues I'd like to discuss but I'm not sure how I can approach them without potential offense even though I mean none. People inevitably take things the wrong way. Frustrating indeed.

in2paints said...

I'm lucky because none of the people involved in my life with Lilly actually read my blog, but I always try very hard to get my point across without "bashing" any of them or just being plain disrespectful. (And I've had many reasons to do so!) I'm always as honest as I can be and try to give everyone I'm involved with anonymity, unless they say it's okay to do otherwise. That way, if they come back angry about something I wrote, I won't feel bad about whatever may have upset them. I'll know it was the truth and I would have said the same thing to their face, had they asked.

I'm sorry your post caused drama... that takes the fun out of posting and causes you to think twice about what you're writing, and that defeats the purpose of your blog (to an extent).

Hopefully you're able to smooth things over and continue to write about the things you enjoy.

Rising Rainbow said...

I'm sorry that you've had problems with people from your barn not liking what you've written. I know how frustrating that can be.

I also know it's important to be true to yourself. Living our lives to keep others happy is a very destructive way to live because you just can't control how other people feel so you're set up for failure right from the start. I know this this from first hand experience.

One of the most important things I learned in my life was this. I am NOT responsible for the feelings of others. I AM responsible for what I do. There's an important difference between those two statements.

The reason for that is you can do something that is totally appropriate and someone may not like it and get their feelings hurt. Their reaction is based on their perceptions which you have absolutely no control over. That's why you aren't responsible if the other person is offended. You are responsible for what you wrote. That's what you have control over.

I have been following along pretty faithfully and you have not written anything inappropriate here. That person's reaction is based on their perception and from the sounds of it, their perception means looking for the bad in things. That's unfortunate because that person must live in that negative place but it's not your fault. You are not responsible for that person looking to find something negative in what you wrote. She is the one responsible for her behavior.

As you can probably tell from my blog, I post about some difficult material sometimes. I know there are people who will be upset by what I post and that's OK with me because I know it's important to talk about such issues so maybe others won't be exploited the way that I was.

I think it's just as important that you post how you feel when you can't school your horse because others have priority over arena use. It's one of the primary issues that people must deal with when they board their horses with others. I think writing about it is useful in a number of ways and could even lead to possible solutions, who knows. Just because you are part of a public barn doesn't mean you have to give up your right to express yourself, not you or any of your commentors above. Doing it in an appropriate manner is what matters.

SillyPony said...

I am sorry this happened. I too try to be careful to keep our actual location and many names somewhat anonymous. I know some of my barn friends read my blog and I am very aware that my former trainer still creeps on my blog so sometimes.

I am sorry that someone took your words and gave it an unintended meaning. Good ol' Barn Drama!